Lock-ins… is there a more polarizing youth ministry topic?
Should you do them?
Are they valuable?
Or are they the worst idea ever?
In this episode, two youth pastors go head-to-head, and you get to decide!
And if you’re interested in seeing more of what the Hybrid Ministry Show has to offer, I’d love to encourage you to check out more!
Every youth pastor eventually faces the difficult task of asking a volunteer to step away from serving. Sometimes the issue is clear. Other times it is more subtle. Either way, the goal is to handle the situation with honesty, care, and respect for the person involved. Volunteers give their time because they want to help students. When a change is needed, the conversation should reflect gratitude for that desire even while setting clear boundaries.
The first distinction to consider is whether the issue involves a moral failure or simply a poor ministry fit. Moral failures require a different level of urgency and clarity. Situations involving inappropriate behavior with students, violations of church safety policies, dishonesty, or other serious conduct issues cannot be handled casually. In those moments the responsibility to protect students and maintain trust in the ministry comes first. The conversation should be direct. Explain what happened, why it violates expectations, and that they must step away from working with students. Depending on the situation, church leadership may need to be involved and the person may need care, accountability, or counseling beyond the youth ministry setting. Even in these difficult cases, the tone should remain calm and respectful. Firm boundaries and gracious treatment can exist at the same time.
More often the situation is less severe. The volunteer may be dependable but struggles to connect with students. They may dominate conversations in small group, miss important cues from teenagers, or consistently show up unprepared. Sometimes the person simply has gifts that fit another ministry better. These conversations require honesty, but they can be framed around fit rather than failure. A youth pastor might say something like, “I appreciate the time you’ve given to the students this year. After watching the group dynamic for a while, I think this role may not be the best place for you to serve.” Then offer alternatives if appropriate. Some people thrive behind the scenes with logistics, prayer teams, or event support even if leading students face to face is not their strength.
Timing also matters. Do not let frustration build quietly for months and then surprise someone with a sudden removal. If concerns appear early, have smaller coaching conversations first. Offer feedback, explain expectations, and give the volunteer space to grow. Many volunteers improve when they understand what the role requires. When improvement does not come, the final conversation feels less abrupt because the concerns were already discussed.
Throughout the process, keep the relationship in mind. Youth ministry is a small world inside the larger church. The volunteer you are talking with is not just a worker filling a role. They are a member of the church community. Thank them for their willingness to serve, speak clearly about why the change is happening, and avoid language that shames or embarrasses them. When handled carefully, even a difficult transition can preserve dignity and leave the door open for healthy involvement in other parts of the church.
Hey friend,
We know this week is full.
There’s a lot happening, a lot of people to connect with, and it’s easy to move from one conversation to the next without really slowing down.
So just a quick encouragement for this Easter weekend: Stay curious.
When someone (a student, parent, etc.) shares something, even something small… pause and ask:
“Tell me more about that.”
That one simple phrase can open the door to a more meaningful conversation where someone feels truly seen and cared for.
You don’t have to rush through every interaction.
Pay attention, stay curious, and see what God might be doing right in front of you.
Praying for you this week, you’ve got this!
We hope you have a really special Holy Week.
DYM Team
Volunteer Leaders are so crucial to a healthy youth ministry.
But as you recruit, should you focus more on older leaders? Or younger leaders? I
n this debate style episode we have two leaders make their case on both sides of the aisle! Let’s dive in, together!
And if you’re interested in seeing more of what the Hybrid Ministry Show has to offer, I’d love to encourage you to check out more!
You know that moment…
You ask a question in small group and get nothing but blank stares. Like… not even a head nod. Just silence.
I’ve been there more times than I can count in 20+ years of leading small groups.
If you’ve got volunteers leading students, here are 3 simple shifts you can pass on to them this week to help get conversations going:
1. Ask specific questions.
Instead of “What did you think?” try something like:
Students are way more likely to talk to one person than a whole group.
Try this:“Turn to the person next to you and share your answer.”
Then come back and ask:“Alright, what did you guys talk about?”
This lowers the pressure and gets everyone involved!
3. Affirm every response.
If students aren’t talking, it might be because they don’t feel safe yet.
When someone shares, respond with:
Small shifts like these can completely change the tone of a group.
And if you want to equip your volunteers with more practical tools like this, that’s exactly why we created the National Day of Volunteer Youth Ministry Training.
It’s a training you can just press play on and use with your whole team.
If you’d like to learn more about it, you can check it out here.
Thanks for serving your students and volunteers so faithfully. I’m taking a moment to pray for you as you head into the stretch toward Easter, you’ve got this!
Students disappear from youth ministry for all sorts of reasons. Sports schedules get heavy, family life shifts, friendships change, or they simply drift out of the habit of coming. It is easy for leaders to assume a student is “done” once a few weeks turn into a few months. In many cases that assumption is wrong. A surprising number of students are open to reconnecting if someone notices their absence and reaches out in a genuine way.
Start with simple contact. A short text or message works well because it feels low pressure. Something like, “Hey, we’ve missed seeing you around. How have you been?” keeps the tone relational instead of corrective. Students often assume adults only notice them when they do something wrong, so hearing that someone actually noticed their absence can mean more than you realize. The goal of that first message is not to convince them to come back immediately. It is simply to reopen the door to conversation.
If the student responds, focus on listening before inviting them back. Ask what their schedule looks like lately or what they have been busy with. Sometimes you will learn about sports seasons, family changes, school stress, or friend group shifts that explain why they stopped attending. When students feel heard rather than pressured, they are more likely to consider reconnecting later.
Small invitations also help. Instead of asking a student to return to a full program right away, invite them to something simple: grabbing a snack after school, helping set up for youth group, or joining a service project. A lower barrier makes it easier for them to reappear without feeling awkward about being gone.
Volunteers can play an important role here as well. A student might ignore a message from the main youth pastor but respond quickly to a small group leader they trust. Encourage your leaders to reach out occasionally to students who have drifted away. A short message from the right person can reopen a relationship that felt closed.
Some students will not return immediately, and that is okay. Staying present in small ways still matters. A quick message on their birthday, a comment on a sports accomplishment, or a congratulations when they pass a driver’s test reminds them that the ministry still cares about them. When their schedule shifts again or they start asking bigger questions about life and faith, they will remember where those relationships were waiting.
Small Group Leaders are the life-blood of any good student ministry.
But what is our most effective strategy to deploy them?
Is it to saddle a great leader with students for their entire careeer? Or is it rather to introduce students to great leaders along their journey?
In this first debate style episode we have two amazing youth pastors, on two different sides of the argument, and they’re going head to head, and you get to be the voter!
And if you’re interested in seeing more of what the Hybrid Ministry Show has to offer, I’d love to encourage you to check out more!
You know that moment.
The one where you just asked what you thought was a really solid small group question, and now six teenagers are staring at the floor like you asked the question in a language that they can’t understand. The silence stretches on for what feels like eternity. Someone picks at their shoelace. Another one checks the phone that they’re hiding under their leg (as if you can’t see it).
And you’re sitting there thinking, “I spent 45 minutes prepping for this discussion… and we’re only three minutes in…“
Yeah. We know that moment too. Because every single person on our team has also been that small group leader.
Here’s the thing about DYM that I think sometimes gets lost…. we’re not a tech company that decided to make youth ministry products. We’re youth workers who are trying to make tools that we wish we had when we were first getting started. Every person on this team has sat in a circle of folding chairs, tried to get a 7th grader to open up about literally anything, and done the mental math on how many pizzas to order for 23 kids (but also Trevor eats like four people, so really it’s 26).
We’ve led the small groups. We’ve run the games. We’ve been the ones frantically googling “fun (but not lame) ice breaker questions for teens” in the church parking lot five minutes before students show up.
And that’s why PAKA exists. It’s because we kept building the same little tools for ourselves and finally thought, “Why don’t we just put all of this in one place?”
You see, for most of us, the hardest part of small group isn’t the lesson. It’s the talking. Getting students to actually engage in conversation is an art form… especially if you’re new to leading a group and you’re still building trust with your students. You ask a deep question and get… nothing. You ask a silly question and get… still nothing. It’s brutal.
So we started thinking about all the little things that actually work when you’re in the trenches. The stuff that doesn’t require a projector (or a felt board??) or hours of planning. We were looking for the ideas and activities you can pull out of your back pocket if (…let’s face it, it’s usually when) the plan falls apart.
That’s PAKA. It’s a “pack a” (get it??!?!?) tools like ice-breaker questions, Would You Rather questions, low-prep games, a spinning wheel, a pizza calculator, and yes, an awkward silence detector that plays cricket sounds when nobody’s talking. Because sometimes the best way to break the tension is to just name it.
But there’s a key part to PAKA that makes it even more magical… It’s free.
Yeah, we made PAKA free. No account required. No subscription. You just download it and go.
Why? It all goes back to the fact that our entire team knows what it’s like to be a volunteer small group leader with a full-time job, two kids, and about eleven minutes to “prep” for Wednesday night. We didn’t need another platform to log into. We needed something we could open on our phone while walking from the car to the youth room.
That’s the whole idea. You’re five minutes out from small group time, you don’t have a plan, your co-leader just texted that they’re sick… open PAKA, tap an ice-breaker or a would you rather, and you’re good to go. Your group is talking, laughing, and engaging before they even sit down.
Now, just for a little transparency… PAKA isn’t some grand strategy play for DYM. We’re not trying to make it become the next big thing in ministry tech. It’s just a handful of tools that we wish we’d had when we were sitting in that circle, staring at the floor right along with the students, praying that someone… anyone… would say something.
If that sounds familiar, go grab it. It’s free on iOS and Android.
And if the crickets start chirping during your next small group… don’t worry. That’s just PAKA doing its job.
Blessings,
Josh Boldman | DYM & Coleader
Many youth ministries plan teaching one series at a time. You finish a study on prayer, then start thinking about what comes next. A few months later you realize you covered the same topic twice and skipped something important.
A scope and sequence helps prevent that drift. It simply means deciding ahead of time what you want students to learn and when they will encounter those ideas during their years in the ministry.
Schools use this approach constantly. Teachers know what concepts appear in each grade so students develop understanding step by step. Youth ministry can benefit from the same clarity.
Before filling a calendar with series titles, step back and ask a bigger question: what should a student understand by the time they graduate from your ministry?
Write down the themes you believe matter most for a teenager’s faith. Your list will probably include ideas like:
• Understanding the gospel
• Learning how to read the Bible
• Practicing prayer
• Handling temptation
• Navigating friendships and dating
• Serving others
• Understanding the church
• Wrestling with doubt
Every ministry’s list will look a little different depending on context and theology. The important step is naming the core foundations you want every student to encounter.
If a student spends six or seven years in your ministry, those years should steadily deepen their understanding of these ideas.
Next, think about the age range your ministry serves.
Most youth ministries cover something like:
• 6th grade
• 7th grade
• 8th grade
• 9th grade
• 10th grade
• 11th grade
• 12th grade
You don’t need a completely different curriculum for every grade, but it helps to imagine how a student’s understanding might grow over time.
For example, a sixth grader might need to learn what the Bible is and how it’s organized. A senior might wrestle with how Scripture shapes decisions about career, relationships, and calling.
The topic is similar, but the depth changes.
Now consider how often you teach series throughout the year.
A typical youth ministry calendar might include:
• Fall teaching block
• Winter teaching block
• Spring teaching block
• Summer teaching or camp themes
Some ministries run four to six teaching series each year. Others teach longer studies that last two months or more.
Once you know roughly how many teaching slots exist in a year, you can begin placing topics intentionally rather than randomly.
Take the core topics you identified earlier and spread them across the years students are in your ministry.
For example:
Middle School Years
Students often need strong foundations.
Topics might include:
• The story of the Bible
• Who Jesus is
• How to pray
• What sin and grace mean
• Building healthy friendships
Early High School Years
Students start asking harder questions.
Topics might include:
• Doubt and faith
• Identity and culture
• Sexual integrity
• Developing spiritual habits
• Serving others
Later High School Years
Students are preparing to leave home.
Topics might include:
• Faith after graduation
• Calling and vocation
• Defending faith in a skeptical culture
• Leading and discipling others
• Living as part of the church
This kind of structure ensures students encounter the major themes of faith before they graduate.
A scope and sequence doesn’t mean every topic appears only once.
Teenagers benefit from revisiting important ideas several times during their student years. The difference is that each return should deepen the conversation.
Prayer with sixth graders might focus on how to talk honestly with God.
Prayer with juniors might focus on learning to pray during anxiety, suffering, or big life decisions.
The topic repeats, but the conversation matures with the students.
Some parts of the youth ministry calendar work better for certain types of teaching.
For example:
The start of the school year often works well for community or identity topics.
January can be a good time to talk about spiritual habits.
Spring sometimes fits service, justice, or mission themes as students look outward.
Camp or retreat seasons may center around gospel clarity or surrender.
Pay attention to how students experience the year and place teaching where it fits naturally.
Your first scope and sequence does not need to be perfect. Think of it as a working map.
Create a simple document that lists:
• The years students are in your ministry
• The major themes you want covered
• Where those themes appear across the calendar
Once you have that document, you gain a helpful reference point when planning future series. Instead of starting from scratch every time, you can ask questions like:
Have our students heard teaching on prayer recently?
When did we last talk about spiritual disciplines?
Are seniors hearing anything about life after high school?
Every year or two, revisit the document. Some topics will need adjustment as your ministry changes.
A scope and sequence doesn’t replace good teaching. It simply helps you aim your teaching over the long haul.
Students who grow up in your ministry should leave with a framework for following Jesus. They may not remember every series title, but they will carry the ideas that shaped them.
A little planning behind the scenes makes those years far more intentional.
I just started in a new role at my job 6 months ago.
It’s been much harder than I anticipated, and I wanted to share with you the leadership mistakes I made, so that you can avoid them for yourself!
And if you’re interested in seeing more of what the Hybrid Ministry Show has to offer, I’d love to encourage you to check out more!