I’m not the best at receiving feedback. Whatever it says about me, I usually think it’s a personal attack or another person telling me that I’m doing a bad job at something I am passionate about. I can usually dwell on it for days too.

Receiving feedback is hard. It’s something we crave and it’s something we fear. Without feedback you won’t know if you are heading in the right direction. In order to receive, and use feedback effectively you need to:

REMEMBER NOT ALL FEEDBACK IS NEGATIVE

The knee jerk reaction to feedback is to throw up a defense. While some feedback is criticism there is plenty that’s meant to affirm what you are doing.

Most times people will come to you wanting to see you and your ministry grow. If you constantly shoot that down then people will see you as close-minded.

Remember, they’re sharing because they’re passionate: either about the ministry, their own kids, or the church as a whole.

LISTEN TO THE WHOLE STORY

The reason people will give you feedback is because they want to be heard. When you listen you give them that platform and affirm their voice.

Listening doesn’t mean you have to agree. In fact most people will just appreciate getting the opportunity to speak to you.

You don’t have to agree with everything they say. I like to say something like “I really appreciate you sharing this with me. Can I think on it?”

AFFIRM AND THANK THEM

No matter the feedback there will always be tension.

By affirming someone for sharing, no matter the context, diffuses any tension. When you affirm you communicate, “I’m open to your opinion.”

DON’T OVER PROMISE FOLLOW UP

When people share with you feedback they are probably thinking, “What’s he going to do with it?” If you are people pleaser like me you’ll say anything to get them on your side.

Fight the urge to please people and just promise them that you’ll continue to process what they’ve shared. It might not give them the immediate response they desire; however, it will communicate that you are taking them seriously.

A “send later” text or email can do wonders here! Schedule it before you forget. Something like “I’m still thinking about what you said earlier. Thanks again for sharing that with me.”

BOUNCE IT OFF OF OTHERS

Don’t process feedback on your own. Bring a comment or critique to a coworker or trusted volunteer. Allow them to give you insight and share a perspective you might not see. This will help you process what’s been said and decide whether or not it’s truly helpful.

You and I need feedback to grow as leaders. There will be times when we can brush it off and others when we can’t let go. Prepare for feedback by having a plan. In the end you’ll know what to use so that you can continue to improve your ministry.

How do you process feedback? Are you always successful at doing that?

I am about to record a youth ministry podcast about the 3 big Pressures youth workers face every fall – wanted to run them by you and see if you agree and what you would add to the list!

Here they are:

1) Training of your volunteers – your volunteers are the life-blood of the youth ministry, they need onboarding, training, then regular encouragement and care. what are you using to train your volunteers this fall? Do you have a date picked out, coffee and donuts (or better yet, ChickFila?) planned and an idea of what you’re covering?

2) Fall kickoff – how to do we make the start of the youth group year extra special? Lots of new kids show up in the fall at the start of the school year, where can I get program ideas to teally create a memorable night with creative ideas and programming, and at the same time make the next step super clear?

3) Curriculum plan for the year – what are you going to teach each week! SO many folks are changing curriculums right now for a myriad of reasons. More Jesus-centered, deeper, more biblical, etc. What is our plan for the year … NOW is the time to pick up the one you’ll use from now to the start of summer.

What would you add to the list?

Also, here are my answers to these solutions this fall – as you would expect, DYM is creating tools to answer the tough stuff you’re facing to make it easier AND better:

1. https://dymtraining.com/#NDO train your volunteers in one single setting – 3 hours just press play: The National Day of YM Training.
2. https://www.downloadyouthministry.com ‘s gold membership for program ideas to make fall kickoff great!
3. https://www.coleader.co Coleader Curriculum – 52 weeks of “everything included” lessons w/graphics, social media, parent emails, discussion guides and more.

Face these big 3 hears on this fall! What is your plan?

JG

Summer youth ministry has its own kind of math.

You plan for twenty students, and eight show up.

You plan for eight students, and thirty-two show up.

You schedule a simple hangout, and suddenly every student is out of town. You schedule something you thought would be small, and students bring friends, cousins, neighbors, and one kid nobody can identify but everyone seems to know.

The summer schedule is weird.

Vacations, sports, camps, jobs, family trips, custody schedules, late nights, and sleeping until noon all collide at the same time. The rhythm you worked so hard to build during the school year can feel like it disappeared overnight.

It’s easy to see the chaos as a problem.

And sometimes it is. It’s hard to build momentum when students are in and out. It’s hard to plan when attendance feels unpredictable. It’s hard to know what to do when every week feels different.

But the weird summer schedule can also be an opportunity.

The same unpredictability that makes summer frustrating can create space for creativity. Since the normal rhythm is already disrupted, you have permission to try something different.

Here are three ways to use the weird summer schedule instead of wasting it.

1. Try what you can’t try during the school year

The school year can lock us into a pattern.

That’s not always bad. Consistency helps students. Weekly rhythms matter. Small groups need structure. Parents like knowing what to expect. Volunteers appreciate a plan that doesn’t change every nine minutes.

But that same structure can make it hard to experiment.

Summer gives you room to test ideas without making them permanent.

Maybe you try meeting off campus. Maybe you host grade-specific hangouts. Maybe you have students over for lunch after church. Maybe you do a service project instead of a normal program night. Maybe you let small group leaders plan simple gatherings. Maybe you do a prayer night, worship night, game night, or question night.

Not everything has to become a tradition.

That’s freeing.

You can try something and learn from it. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you don’t have to put it on the calendar again next year and pretend it was always part of the vision.

Summer gives you permission to experiment.

It also helps you discover what students respond to when the pressure is lower. You might find out that your students connect better around food than a full event. You might find that incoming students need smaller spaces before the fall. You might learn that volunteers are willing to host simple hangouts if the plan is clear.

The weird schedule can teach you things.

But only if you’re willing to try.

2. Choose simple over impressive

Summer does not need to be a three-month attempt to outdo every other event in town.

Students already have a lot going on. Families are stretched. Volunteers are traveling. You may be coming off camp, planning for fall, and wondering how sunscreen got on your laptop.

This is a good time to keep things simple.

Simple doesn’t mean lazy. It means clear, doable, and relational.

A popsicle night can work. A meet-up at a local restaurant can work. A board game night can work. A pool party can work. A service morning can work. Sitting around after church with pizza can work.

The question isn’t, “Will this look impressive online?”

The question is, “Will this help students connect?”

That question matters.

Sometimes we make summer harder than it needs to be because we feel pressure to keep students entertained. But youth ministry is not a competition with water parks, sports leagues, and family vacations. You will lose that competition, mostly because they have better parking and less church carpet.

You don’t need to entertain students every second.

You need to create spaces where relationships can grow.

Simple events make it easier for students to invite friends. They make it easier for volunteers to engage. They make it easier for you to be present instead of spending the whole night managing logistics.

When the schedule is weird, simple can be your friend.

3. Pay attention to who shows up

In the school year, it’s easy to focus on the crowd.

In the summer, the crowd may change every week.

That can be frustrating, but it can also help you notice students you might normally miss.

When the room is smaller, different students may talk more. New students may have an easier time connecting. Quieter students may feel less overwhelmed. Leaders may have more time for real conversations. You may get a better read on who’s drifting, who’s lonely, who’s growing, and who needs a next step.

Don’t waste that.

If only six students show up, don’t spend the whole night acting disappointed that twenty-four didn’t.

Minister to the six.

Ask good questions. Learn their stories. Pray with them. Laugh with them. Let the smaller night become something meaningful instead of treating it like a failed version of a bigger night.

Some of the best ministry moments happen when the plan changes.

A rained-out game turns into a long conversation. A low-attendance night becomes a chance for students to ask honest questions. A casual lunch becomes the moment a student tells you what’s really going on.

That doesn’t happen when we’re too busy being annoyed by who isn’t there.

Pay attention to who is there.

They are not the backup plan. They are the ministry in front of you.

The weird summer schedule is not going away.

Students will travel. Families will forget. Sports will happen. Someone will be at camp, someone will be at the beach, someone will be working, and someone will tell you they can’t come because their cousin’s neighbor’s dog has a birthday party.

That’s summer.

You can spend the whole season frustrated that it doesn’t feel like the school year, or you can receive it as a different kind of opportunity.

Try something new. Keep it simple. Pay attention to who shows up.

You may discover that the chaos you wanted to fix was actually creating space for ministry you would’ve missed.

And the next time eight students show up when you planned for twenty, take a breath.

You’ve still got eight students.

That’s not a wasted night.

That’s the room God gave you.