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7 Jan 2025

I’m a Youth Pastor and I Punched My Senior Pastor. Is that bad?

By Ronald|2025-01-07T10:33:01-08:00January 7th, 2025|Leadership|0 Comments

Okay, okay. I didn’t actually punch my senior pastor, but let’s be honest, we’ve all had those days where we felt like it. And if you’ve ever caught yourself fantasizing about throwing a folding chair in the staff meeting, there’s a good chance burnout is knocking on your door.

Youth ministry is one of the most rewarding gigs out there. Seriously, who else gets to eat pizza for lunch and call it a strategy meeting? But it’s also exhausting, demanding, and sometimes downright soul-crushing. Burnout? It’s not just a buzzword; it’s a very real threat. So, how do you know if you’re headed for trouble? Let’s talk about the warning signs.

Red Flags You’re on the Road to Burnout

1. A Shorter Fuse
Do you find yourself snapping at volunteers who show up late, or silently plotting revenge against that one kid who keeps asking, “Can we just play dodgeball today?”? If your patience is wearing thinner than the youth budget, it’s time to pause and take stock.

2. Constant Exhaustion
Sure, we all get tired. Late nights, lock-ins, and last-minute sermon rewrites will do that. But if you’re waking up more tired than when you went to bed—even after a full weekend off—you might need more than just a nap.

3. Inability to Disconnect
Are you checking emails while binge-watching Netflix? Answering texts about this week’s game night during family dinner? If your phone is practically an extension of your hand, you’re never giving yourself a chance to fully recharge.

4. Feeling Like You’re the Only One
Does it seem like you’re carrying the entire ministry on your back? Like no one else cares as much as you do? That “it’s all on me” mindset can be a fast track to burnout. Spoiler alert: it’s not all on you.

5. Loss of Passion
When was the last time you were genuinely excited about youth ministry? If you’re just going through the motions or secretly dreading the next Wednesday night, you’ve lost more than energy—you’ve lost your spark.

What to Do When Burnout Hits

So, what’s the game plan when these red flags start waving? Here are a few ideas to keep you from going full-on WWE in the staff meeting:

Talk It Out
Call up a friend, mentor, or counselor and let them in on what’s going on. Trust me, venting to someone other than your reflection in the youth room window can work wonders.
Take a Break
No, really. Step away. Whether it’s a weekend retreat or just an afternoon nap, give yourself permission to rest. Your ministry will survive without you for a hot minute, I promise.
Re-evaluate Your Priorities
Are you saying “yes” to everything? Stop it. Seriously. Jesus took naps, and you can too.
Seek Professional Help
If burnout has you in a chokehold, don’t hesitate to reach out to a counselor. Sometimes you need a little extra help to find your footing again.

You’re Not Alone

Here’s the thing: burnout doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. Recognizing the signs and taking action isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s the exact opposite. And hey, if you need more encouragement (or just want to hear some great stories about burnout and surviving it), check out the video conversation I had with Josh Boldman, Derry Prenket, and Todd Pearage [You can watch it here].

Hang in there, friend. You’ve got this—and the next time you’re tempted to throw hands in a staff meeting, just remember: pizza solves most problems.

23 Dec 2024

Guest Post: From Routine to Resilience by Tim Wadsworth

By Josh Boldman|2024-12-23T07:15:58-08:00December 23rd, 2024|Guest Post, Leadership|0 Comments

I am a creature of comfort. I like my routines and I really don’t like surprises. Well, I enjoy surprises like finding extra money in my pocket, but definitely not surprises that bring hardship. I live by the motto “work smarter, not harder” and I like to anticipate what’s coming next so I can plan and be prepared. But what happens when your crystal ball isn’t working and you can’t see into the future?

Back in September of 2024, Hurricane Helene made landfall on the east coast of Florida and started making her way up north. Our church is based in Greenville, South Carolina, so we knew we would get a lot of rain as a result. However, a day before the storm made landfall, reports indicated that the storm would change course resulting in high winds and flooding in the likes we have never seen before.

If you know my story, PTSD started setting in rather quickly due to my experience during Hurricane Andrew (you read about that here: https://shorturl.at/cdv4F . Western South Carolina and North Carolina got ravaged by Hurricane Helene. Lives were lost, homes and communities were destroyed, and so many people lost power for days and weeks. Now, as someone who likes comfort, if you take away electricity we have a receipt for discomfort.

Waking up that morning to see the damage across my state and neighborhood was the most sobering experience of my life. Neighbors started checking in on neighbors and the sounds of sirens echoed throughout the community. Communication to others was impossible because cell phones and internet were down and driving to go see someone was incredibly dangerous due to trees and electric poles blocking roads.

Once reality set in, my focus moved from my immediate family to my church family. How are my students? How is the church building? What is programming going to look like for this week? Will we even have church? Will gas and food be available around town? My normal routine of doing ministry was gone. I could either roll up in a ball and complain or embrace the hard and look for the opportunity.

After a day or so, roads began to clear and cell phones started to work. Our student ministry team got together and started making pivots. The easy decision was to cancel youth group because we still didn’t have power, but something didn’t feel right about doing that. We knew we needed to get our youth group family together to process everything going on, but our church was in no way, shape, or form operational. However, it hit me like a ton of bricks to seize the opportunity. Our team always flirted with the idea of having an outdoor service under the big blue sky but we never really pulled the trigger on it. BUT … this was the PERFECT opportunity to pull the trigger. Here’s what we learned in seizing an opportunity in the midst of hardship.

1) Perfect Opportunity to Fail

No one thought we were crazy for making this pivot. In fact, people thought it was brilliant. Our people gave so much grace and mercy in the areas we didn’t get it right. The extra hustle that went into making this happen covered a “multitude of sins” and the extra hustle started becoming contagious. Once parents heard what we were doing, they started helping in ways we have never seen before. One parent wanted to bring their smoker and smoke up extra meat they had that would eventually go bad due to no refrigeration. Another parent donated a few generators for us to use to help power the worship band. Parents wanted to help get cars parked efficiently. There were so many other ways people chipped in as well. Students started sharing this hurricane pivot all over social media, and since nothing else was happening in town, everyone’s friends outside of youth group wanted to join us. The biggest win was seeing students come to this event that honestly may have never graced the presence of a church without it. The outreach opportunity started to grow!

2) Perfect Opportunity to Learn

We learned so much…. especially on what NOT to do the next time we attempt something like this. The event was a huge success, but the newly seized opportunity birthed areas we didn’t know we needed to grow in. Something we were previously hesitant on quickly became a highlight of our semester. We also learned new ways to reach students in our community and how to empower our people to step up. We learned that the extra hustle goes a long way with people. We also were reminded that God doesn’t get caught off guard. This hurricane didn’t take Him by surprise. We learned that when you embrace hardship for Kingdom opportunities, it gives the Holy Spirit a platform to move in ways you normally wouldn’t see in your normal routine of ministry. We saw kids engaged and worshipping like never before. We saw small groups connect with each other and cry with those who lost their homes. We healed and bonded as a student ministry. We learned to hold all things with open hands.

3) Perfect Opportunity to See, Serve, and Love

The number of “Thank-Yous” we heard from people outweighed the amount of “Thank-Yous” we heard in the past year. “This was awesome!” and “When can we do this again?” was being echoed all throughout the event. We hit our ultimate goal of serving our people and making teenagers feel seen and loved. They weren’t just seen, served, and loved but given a space to connect with Jesus in a unique way. A really difficult hardship brought forth a beautiful opportunity that we didn’t see coming.

I would encourage you, the reader, to think about a hardship you are currently going through right now. It might not be as crazy as a hurricane but what’s your “hurricane” right now? This could be in your personal life or in your ministry. Lean into the “hard” and ask God what He’s doing. Don’t miss the opportunity quietly brewing in your midst. Don’t miss the opportunity to fail or grow in ways you didn’t think possible. Hardship can bring incredible opportunities.

Tim Wadsworth serves as the Director of Student Ministries at North Hills Church in Taylors, SC. More than just a title, Tim is known for his genuine passion for Jesus and his heart for students, making him an invaluable and beloved member of the DYM Community.

23 Sep 2024

Conferences Are Back!!

By Josh Boldman|2024-09-23T10:07:58-07:00September 23rd, 2024|Leadership, Youth Ministry Ideas, Youth Ministry Resources|0 Comments

12 Aug 2024

Setting Spiritual Goals for the New School Year

By Ronald|2024-07-22T13:34:49-07:00August 12th, 2024|Leadership|8 Comments

As the new school year kicks off, it’s a great time to help your students set meaningful spiritual goals. The start of a new year brings fresh opportunities for growth and reflection. Here’s how you can guide your students in setting and achieving their spiritual goals for the year ahead.

Begin by hosting a goal-setting workshop. Gather your students and provide a space for them to reflect on their personal faith journeys. Encourage them to think about what they want to achieve spiritually over the coming year. Whether it’s developing a daily prayer habit, reading through the Bible, or growing in a specific area of their faith, help them articulate clear and achievable goals. Provide resources and tools, like goal-setting worksheets or journals, to support them in this process.

Next, pair students with accountability partners or small groups. Having someone to share their goals with can provide motivation and support. Create a system where students can check in regularly with their partners or small group members to discuss their progress, share challenges, and celebrate successes. This not only helps them stay accountable but also fosters a sense of community and encouragement.

Finally, establish a system for tracking and celebrating progress. Regularly check in on the students’ goals and celebrate their milestones. You could implement a progress tracking system using journals, apps, or a bulletin board where students can mark their achievements. Host milestone celebrations or recognition events to acknowledge their hard work and progress. This will help keep students motivated and focused on their spiritual growth throughout the year.

By guiding your students in setting spiritual goals, providing accountability, and celebrating their progress, you can help them make the most of the new school year and grow in their faith. Here’s to a year filled with spiritual growth and achievements!

Need to set some goals of your own? New to Ministry? We’ve got a great conference for you!

15 Jul 2024

How to Do a Summer Check-In with Yourself in the Middle of a Crazy Season

By Ronald|2024-07-15T05:05:25-07:00July 15th, 2024|Leadership|8 Comments

As youth pastors, we know summer can be one of the busiest times of the year. Between camps, mission trips, and events, getting lost in the hustle and bustle is easy. Taking time for a self-check-in is essential to stay healthy, spiritually nourished, and effective in your ministry. You can’t serve from a place of complete burnout and exhaustion. It’s also near impossible to help others connect with God when you feel far from Him because you’re so busy serving.

Here are three steps to help you do just that:

1. Reflect and Reconnect with God

Why It’s Important: Your spiritual health is the foundation of your ministry. It’s challenging to pour into others effectively without a strong connection to God.

How to Do It:

Set Aside Quiet Time: Carve out at least 15-30 minutes daily to pray, read Scripture, and meditate on God’s word. This can be early morning, during a lunch break, or in the evening.
Journaling: Write down what God is teaching you during this season. Reflect on His faithfulness and any areas where you feel He’s leading you to grow.
Worship: Listen to worship music or sing your favorite hymns. Let the lyrics remind you of God’s goodness and sovereignty.

Pro Tip: Don’t see this as another task on your to-do list. It’s a vital time to refill your spiritual tank and hear from God amidst the busyness.

2. Evaluate Your Physical and Emotional Health

Why It’s Important: Your body and mind are instruments for God’s work. Neglecting your physical and emotional well-being can lead to burnout and affect the effectiveness of your ministry.

How to Do It:

Physical Health Check: Assess your current health habits. Are you getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and exercising regularly? Small adjustments can significantly affect your energy levels and overall well-being.
Emotional Health Check: Reflect on your emotional state. Are you feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or joyful? It’s okay to acknowledge your feelings. Talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or counselor if you need support.
Rest and Recharge: Schedule downtime to rest and do things you enjoy. Whether reading a book, hiking, or spending time with family, prioritize rest.

Pro Tip: Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential. You can’t serve others well if you’re running on empty.

3. Reassess Your Ministry Goals and Priorities

Why It’s Important: During a busy season, losing sight of your ministry’s overarching goals is easy. Reassessing ensures you stay aligned with your mission and make the most impact.

How to Do It:

Review Your Goals: Review the goals you set at the beginning of the summer. Are you on track? Do any goals need to be adjusted or prioritized differently?
Celebrate Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate the successes and progress made, no matter how small. This can boost morale and provide encouragement to keep going.
Delegate and Collaborate: Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks to your team or involve volunteers more. Empowering others lightens your load and fosters a sense of community and shared purpose.

Pro Tip: Keep a flexible mindset. Ministry is dynamic, and sometimes plans need to change. Be open to where God is leading, even if it’s different from your initial plan.

Taking time for a summer check-in can rejuvenate your spirit, mind, and body, enabling you to serve more effectively and joyfully. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Lean on God and your community, and take care of yourself to continue to pour into the lives of the youth you minister to.

24 Jun 2024

Help! The Parents Won’t Let Go!

By Ronald|2024-06-17T13:25:14-07:00June 24th, 2024|Leadership|3 Comments

Are you struggling with parents who won’t let their students attend youth group? Are you dealing with parents who insist on attending EVERY event and program meeting with their students? How can you minister to this family better? Here are some tips!

Meet with the parents

The very first thing I like to do is meet with new parents! You can always offer to take them out to Coffey or have them come to your office to chat for a little bit.

Parents who know more about your reason for ministry and your program and procedures are more likely to trust you. It might still be tough for them to let their baby attend, but meeting with them helps them get to know you better. The more they know you in the ministry, the more likely they will allow their student to participate.

Give them two weeks

I know that parents are the reason we have any children in the ministry in the first place. I always told parents they had two free weeks of observing and checking out the ministry without needing to do anything else. They are their kids, after all! Sometimes, giving them two weeks to observe lets them see everything they need to know about the ministry to let their son or daughter take part.

Remind them of the volunteer process

If a parent wants to continue hanging around after two weeks, I remind them of the volunteer process. Again, helping parents remember that we don’t allow anyone to hang out is a safety issue.

Having a formal volunteer interview process reminds parents that you formally vet every volunteer who comes into the ministry. This could include a background check, an interview with you, two references outside of the church, and an interview with their own teenagers.

I remember one volunteer who passed on everything I asked them to do until I met with their kids. They told me under no circumstances should their parent via youth ministry volunteer! I was floored, But it was one of my hard and fast rules.

You don’t have to let a parent know which part they pass on, but they should know that you are the ministry’s leader and can determine who hangs around students.

Challenge their beliefs

Why do they feel the need to be around their students 24/7? Youth group, at best, is two hours long. Letting their students have a little bit of independence and freedom might be good for them! I might help them grow and their faith on their own. It’s not taking away any personal discipleship, Student. You’re just asking for two hours a week.

Maybe the parents feel they need to be in constant control, make sure their students make the right kind of friends, and ensure their students are safe all the time.

These things can come from a good place, but they can also be unhealthy.

Challenge parents’ beliefs!

Let them make the call

We can’t change how parents disciple their kids. If they decide that youth ministry is not the best for their student, then that’s the parent’s decision!

As pastors, we have a unique role of coming alongside parents and helping them disciple their students. We’re not supposed to be the primary disciples, which means the final to the parent. The parent doesn’t have to dictate how your ministry works, but they can decide if their student will participate.

Did I miss anything? Could you add anything? I’d love to hear it!

20 May 2024

Launching Youth Ministry Seniors

By Ronald|2024-05-20T06:17:19-07:00May 20th, 2024|Leadership|8 Comments

May is a big season for youth ministries! Your seniors are graduating, and it can be a wild ride. These may be the students you’ve ministered to and spent time with over the last six or seven years. And you may be trying to figure out how to honor them and launch them into the next season.

And you’re also figuring out how to do that without making anyone upset or leaving anyone out!

What can you do?

Here are some ideas for honoring your seniors and even having them speak into the lives of the students who are coming behind them.

Have Seniors Speak at Youth Group

While not every senior can deliver a 30-minute message, you might be able to ask a senior to give the group following them some life advice. The high school pastor I worked with would do this regularly. He would schedule 3 to 4 seniors during a youth group program and have them offer advice to the next class. It was usually great to hear what the seniors would come up with and how they would take the lessons they learned in youth group and pass them down to the students following them.

Recognize Them on a Sunday Morning

On a particular Sunday morning, call up students who are graduating and have them stand on stage. It’s always a great moment to recognize them in front of the whole church! You can either hand them a microphone and have them go down the line saying their name, where they are from, and what their next season of life holds for them. Make sure you communicate in advance what this will be so that students and parents are prepared for it!

Get Them a Gift

Try to get students something to mark the occasion. Maybe it’s a Bible where their family and friends have highlighted verses to take them into the next season. Maybe it’s a devotional aimed at seniors so that they can enter this next season walking with God. Maybe it’s exclusive Youth Ministry swag that only graduates get. Whatever you do, think about how a student might look at this gift and remember their time in Youth Ministry fondly.

Set Them Up for What’s Next

Do your new seniors know how to look for a church? Do they know how to ask and get plugged into a new ministry? I know a youth pastor who would take his seniors to a couple of different churches during their summer after high school. He would have them learn everything they could about the new church on one visit and ask how to get plugged in. I love this idea because the youth pastor would go with them and help coach them through it! What a great idea to help students look for a new church since most of our seniors might be moving on to their next chapter in a new city and not know how to find a new community of believers!

How would you help launch seniors into the next season?

Want some help with having seniors tell their stories? Check out this resource!

6 May 2024

How to Change Your Culture to Something You Desire

By Justin Knowles|2024-05-06T03:50:50-07:00May 6th, 2024|Leadership|6 Comments

I have been in my current position for a few years now. Recently, during a conversation with one of our youth leaders, he remarked, “It’s like we have a whole new group of people and values.” Indeed, the atmosphere has shifted significantly compared to four years ago, and this transformation has been intentional. Throughout the year, we have diligently worked towards altering the culture of our Wednesday nights to one that actively seeks Jesus, embraces committed leadership, and fosters a spirit of enjoyment. Our efforts are beginning to yield results.

So, how did we achieve this? Reflecting on the steps our team took to implement change within our group, I’d like to share them.

Prayer: Our team dedicated time to prayer together. We gathered to envision and articulate our values and aspirations for our ministries, surrendering them to God. While individuals can influence culture to a certain extent, the profound change we sought for our students could only be realized through divine intervention.
Observation: Initially, I spent four to six months simply observing. I meticulously took notes, scrutinizing every aspect from technological setups and stage arrangements to program content, volunteer engagement, and job roles. After gaining insights into our existing systems and their outcomes, we systematically addressed areas for improvement.
Gradual Implementation: We began by making superficial adjustments to enhance the flow and aesthetics of our services. These changes involved aspects such as graphics, social media presence, sermon illustrations, music selection, and recreational activities. Changing culture is not a hasty process; it requires grace and patience as people naturally resist change. Once we achieved the desired service environment and struck a balance, we progressed to addressing personnel matters.
Volunteers: Recognizing that people differ from programs, we consistently communicated our vision from the outset. Some individuals naturally aligned with our vision, while others required candid discussions to reassess their involvement. Reiteration of the vision is crucial; when you feel fatigued from repeating it, your volunteers are just beginning to grasp it. While adjusting the vision for existing volunteers is possible, recruiting new leaders who resonate with the new direction proves invaluable. These leaders, fully immersed in the envisioned culture, serve as conduits for its transmission to students.
Relationships: Empowered by our shared vision and understanding of success, our leaders engage with students in purposeful relational activities. Events such as park outings, beach trips, and summer camps, led by vision-aligned leaders, have cemented relationships within our core student group. With this foundation, we are poised to establish small groups and expand our outreach to students seeking spiritual fulfillment.

The journey to reshape your group’s culture may entail various strategies, tailored to its unique dynamics. Nonetheless, I have found that prayerful, gradual, and intentional efforts can foster a culture where leaders inspire, collaborate, and empower others.

29 Apr 2024

Gradutation and Moving Up Gifts

By Ronald|2024-04-29T05:44:39-07:00April 29th, 2024|Leadership|12 Comments

May is just around the corner! That means seniors are moving on, 7th-grade students are going into high school, and 5th or 6th-grade students are getting ready to enter youth group!

With all this change? What should you get each grade or class to help them mark the occasion?

Bibles for Seniors

I love gifting Bibles to students moving out of the youth group and into the next season of life. Even better, though, is giving them a Bible with highlighted verses and notes written from the important people in their lives. You can do this all in one go at a Senior focused youth group night or hand the Bible to parents to have them run it around to family. Whichever direction you take, write your own note and highlight a few verses.

Those can be treasured Bibles that can help guide them to their next season! Just make sure you reach out to the seniors on your list and ask if they will be around for it. It never hurts to have a couple extra on hand, just in case.

T-Shirts for Incoming Students

Every student could use a Bible when coming into the youth group. So don’t hear me say DON’T get an incoming student a Bible. However, I love to help new students feel a part of the group and special at the same time. I would usually get a t-shirt made up special for the students coming into the ministry. It would be our logo on a t-shirt that ONLY the new incoming students get. That way they get some cool youth group branded stuff AND feel some connection to the other students moving in with them.

It’s been cool to watch students keep wearing those shirts over the years too. A little bit of class pride, yeah?

A Plant

Go with me here. Moving from middle school to high school is difficult. It can be one of the toughest moves a student makes. We don’t often recognize that in our ministries, which should change! I love getting my students something that symbolizes growing into the next season of life.

A succulent (read: a plant that doesn’t die very easily) can be a neat gift to show students you see them and remind they that they are still growing! It’s a little reminder that can encourage them to continue to make their faith their own AND, hopefully, encourage them to continue to grow in grace and love.

You can probably think of a few other things you could grab for a student moving from one season to the next. Celebrate the moves and the changes! Whatever you do, acknowledge that God is at work in their lives and that you’re excited about what He has in store for them!

23 Apr 2024

Encourage Your Volunteers!

By Ronald|2024-04-23T10:36:35-07:00April 23rd, 2024|Leadership, Volunteers|7 Comments

Springtime might be tough for a Youth Pastor, but it can also be difficult for a Youth Ministry volunteer! These are the people we rely on to help make ministry happen. We can’t do this thing by ourselves! So, how can you show volunteers appreciation and ensure they feel valued as a part of your team? I’ve got three quick ideas!

Send them a text

Sending a quick text message to a volunteer is a great way to show them you appreciate them! Normally, we text volunteers when we need supplies for a game or for them to put out a fire in the youth room. But if you spent the next 10 minutes texting your volunteer team, you could show them that you were thinking about them, appreciate their support, and give them a small encouragement that might carry them through the week! Something like:

“Hey Susan! Thanks so much for being on the team. I saw you having a great conversation with Samantha last night. I’m glad you’re doing Youth Ministry!”

“Hey Scott! It’s always great to see you throwing football and chatting it up with the dudes. Glad you’re on the Youth Ministry team!”

Grab Them a Snack

Ask your volunteers what their favorite snack is. And then next time you meet, have it ready for them. We do this with students all the time. Why shouldn’t we do this for our volunteers? It’s a great way to show them that we know them, we love them, and we were thinking about them. It doesn’t even have to be in the Youth Ministry budget for you to show this type of appreciation! Once you know their favorite snack, you can get it for them again! Think right before the retreat happens or at the end of the school year. You can show your volunteers appreciation just by running to the store real quick.

Sing Their Praises

Maybe not literally singing, but think of it this way: every time you get a microphone, it’s a chance for you to talk about how great your volunteers are. Maybe it’s when you’re making an announcement at church in service or before you break up for small groups. Make sure you tell your volunteers you appreciate them in front of people! It’s definitely not the only way to show people that you appreciate them, but it’s a great way to remind them that you are on their team and you are thankful for them! The next time somebody hands you a microphone, take 30 seconds to talk about how great your Youth Ministry volunteers are!

Did I miss anything? Is there anything you would add to the list? I’d love to hear about it!