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17 Mar 2025

Spring Cleaning Your Youth Ministry: Evaluating What’s Working and What Needs to Change

By Ronald|2025-03-17T07:52:15-07:00March 17th, 2025|Leadership|1 Comment

Spring is here, which means it’s time for warmer weather, allergy season, and that moment when students start asking, “Are we still meeting during the summer?” But before you get too far ahead planning beach trips and summer camp, let’s talk about something that doesn’t involve pollen or panicked vacation planning—spring cleaning your youth ministry.

No, I’m not talking about finally throwing away that pile of pizza boxes in the youth room (though, seriously, it’s time). I’m talking about evaluating your ministry, figuring out what’s working, and making changes before summer hits. Just like your house, your ministry can collect clutter—things that once had a purpose but now just take up space.

Step 1: Take a Hard Look at Your Weekly Programming

If you’ve been running the same format for months (or years), it’s easy to get stuck in autopilot. Take a step back and ask: Is our weekly program actually engaging students? Are students growing in their faith, or just showing up for snacks and games? (Snacks are great, but hopefully, that’s not the only reason they come.)

Look at your teaching. Are you addressing what students are dealing with right now? Are your small groups actually facilitating conversation, or is it mostly blank stares and side conversations about TikTok? Take a moment to ask your leaders and students what’s clicking and what’s falling flat.

Step 2: Evaluate Your Volunteers

Your adult leaders are the backbone of your ministry, but even the best volunteers need encouragement, feedback, and sometimes a reality check. Who’s thriving? Who’s barely hanging on? Who maybe signed up to help in 2019 and is still around out of pure momentum?

Spring is a great time to reconnect with your team. Schedule a check-in with each leader, get their honest input, and (if needed) reassign roles so people serve where they’re most effective. If someone seems burned out, don’t guilt them into staying—help them transition well and recruit fresh faces for the team.

Step 3: Declutter Your Calendar

Youth pastors love events. Lock-ins, retreats, game nights, service projects—if there’s an excuse to hang out with students, we’ll take it. But is your ministry calendar jam-packed with things just because they’ve always been there?

Take a look at your schedule and be honest: Are these events actually helping students grow spiritually? If not, cut them. It’s okay to let go of something that no longer serves its purpose. Plus, a little breathing room might help you (and your leaders) avoid burnout.

Step 4: Set Fresh Goals

After decluttering, it’s time to dream again. What do you want to see happen in your youth ministry over the next few months? More student leadership? A deeper culture of prayer? Better engagement from parents? Whatever it is, set a few clear goals and rally your team around them.

Spring Forward

Spring cleaning isn’t just about getting rid of junk—it’s about making space for what really matters. Take time this season to refocus, refresh, and make sure your youth ministry is actually helping students grow in their faith. And yes, go ahead and clean out that storage closet while you’re at it. You might even find that missing dodgeball from last fall’s game night.

12 Feb 2025

Shoeboxes: Tres..Dos..Uno Open!

By Ronald|2025-02-12T06:43:27-08:00February 12th, 2025|Youth Ministry Ideas|2 Comments

I am always excited to get a new pair of shoes. As soon as I get home from the store, I immediately take the bright red Nike shoes out of the box and toss the shoebox aside. The shoebox means nothing to me—but not to everyone.

Josh and I went to two outreaches today, delivering shoeboxes filled with toys to kids.

Going into today, I expected it to be all about handing out the boxes. I’m so glad I was wrong!

The shoeboxes were only a small part of the day. The gospel presentation took center stage as the true focus.

At both locations we visited, Christ was made known, and the shoeboxes were simply tools to share His love with the children.

As we passed out these gifts, we watched the kids react in different ways—some didn’t know what to say, some eagerly showed off every Barbie doll they had just received, and some clung tightly to their toy cars, afraid they might be taken away.

With tears in our eyes, we played, danced, and became the hands and feet of Jesus today.

To whoever Jeff, Britt, and Claire Milton are—there was a little girl in a yellow dress who absolutely adored your gift!

*Guest Post written by Chris Thomas

27 Jan 2025

I’m a Youth Pastor and… What if I Don’t Want to be a Youth Pastor Anymore?

By Ronald|2025-01-07T11:09:51-08:00January 27th, 2025|Leadership|2 Comments

Let’s rip the Band-Aid off: what happens when you realize the passion that got you into youth ministry isn’t there anymore? Is it burnout? Mid-ministry crisis? Or—dare I say it—a sign that God’s calling you elsewhere?

If you’re wrestling with these questions, you’re not alone. Ministry isn’t a static journey, and passions can shift over time. The important thing is learning how to navigate these changes without guilt or fear.

Recognizing the Shift

The first step? Acknowledge what you’re feeling. Here are some signs your heart might be moving in a new direction:

1. Changing Interests

The stuff that used to light your fire—lock-ins, small groups, and dodgeball marathons—might now feel like just another thing on your to-do list.

2. New Desires

Maybe you’re dreaming of something different. A new type of ministry? A different career path altogether? These feelings don’t make you unfaithful—they make you human.

3. Feeling Drained

Tasks that once energized you now leave you exhausted. This might be a sign it’s time to reevaluate where you’re investing your energy.

Embracing the Change

Change can feel unsettling, but it’s also an invitation to grow. Here’s how to lean into it:

1. Self-Reflection

Spend time praying, journaling, and asking yourself some hard questions. What excites you now? What feels lifeless? Honest self-assessment is the foundation for meaningful change.

2. Seek Guidance

Reach out to trusted mentors, friends, or even a counselor. They can help you process your feelings, offer perspective, and encourage you to take steps forward.

3. Explore New Opportunities

Be open to where God might be leading you. This could mean exploring a different role in ministry, a new area of service, or even a different career path.

4. Don’t Force It

If your passion for youth ministry has faded, it’s okay to let go. Forcing yourself to stay in a role that doesn’t align with your calling can lead to frustration—for you and the students you serve.

Finding Fulfillment

Once you’ve embraced the possibility of change, it’s time to move toward something life-giving:

1. Follow Your Passion

God’s calling for you might look different than it did before, and that’s okay. Pursue the things that genuinely excite and fulfill you.

2. Embrace Change

Change isn’t failure; it’s growth. Trust that God is with you in the transition and that He has a plan for your next steps.

3. Stay Connected to Your Calling

Even if your role shifts, your ultimate calling to love and serve God remains the same. Keep seeking ways to live that out in whatever context you find yourself.

4. Prioritize Self-Care

Change can be exhausting. Take care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual health so you can step into the future with clarity and energy.

The Key Takeaway

Realizing you don’t want to be a youth pastor anymore doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means God might be stirring something new in your heart. Embrace the shift, seek guidance, and trust that God is leading you into a season where you can serve with fresh passion and purpose.

You’ve got this.

And hey, if you need more encouragement (or just want to hear some great stories about burnout and surviving it), check out the video conversation I had with Josh Boldman, Derry Prenket, and Todd Pearage [You can watch it here].

7 Jan 2025

I’m a Youth Pastor and I Punched My Senior Pastor. Is that bad?

By Ronald|2025-01-07T10:33:01-08:00January 7th, 2025|Leadership|0 Comments

Okay, okay. I didn’t actually punch my senior pastor, but let’s be honest, we’ve all had those days where we felt like it. And if you’ve ever caught yourself fantasizing about throwing a folding chair in the staff meeting, there’s a good chance burnout is knocking on your door.

Youth ministry is one of the most rewarding gigs out there. Seriously, who else gets to eat pizza for lunch and call it a strategy meeting? But it’s also exhausting, demanding, and sometimes downright soul-crushing. Burnout? It’s not just a buzzword; it’s a very real threat. So, how do you know if you’re headed for trouble? Let’s talk about the warning signs.

Red Flags You’re on the Road to Burnout

1. A Shorter Fuse
Do you find yourself snapping at volunteers who show up late, or silently plotting revenge against that one kid who keeps asking, “Can we just play dodgeball today?”? If your patience is wearing thinner than the youth budget, it’s time to pause and take stock.

2. Constant Exhaustion
Sure, we all get tired. Late nights, lock-ins, and last-minute sermon rewrites will do that. But if you’re waking up more tired than when you went to bed—even after a full weekend off—you might need more than just a nap.

3. Inability to Disconnect
Are you checking emails while binge-watching Netflix? Answering texts about this week’s game night during family dinner? If your phone is practically an extension of your hand, you’re never giving yourself a chance to fully recharge.

4. Feeling Like You’re the Only One
Does it seem like you’re carrying the entire ministry on your back? Like no one else cares as much as you do? That “it’s all on me” mindset can be a fast track to burnout. Spoiler alert: it’s not all on you.

5. Loss of Passion
When was the last time you were genuinely excited about youth ministry? If you’re just going through the motions or secretly dreading the next Wednesday night, you’ve lost more than energy—you’ve lost your spark.

What to Do When Burnout Hits

So, what’s the game plan when these red flags start waving? Here are a few ideas to keep you from going full-on WWE in the staff meeting:

Talk It Out
Call up a friend, mentor, or counselor and let them in on what’s going on. Trust me, venting to someone other than your reflection in the youth room window can work wonders.
Take a Break
No, really. Step away. Whether it’s a weekend retreat or just an afternoon nap, give yourself permission to rest. Your ministry will survive without you for a hot minute, I promise.
Re-evaluate Your Priorities
Are you saying “yes” to everything? Stop it. Seriously. Jesus took naps, and you can too.
Seek Professional Help
If burnout has you in a chokehold, don’t hesitate to reach out to a counselor. Sometimes you need a little extra help to find your footing again.

You’re Not Alone

Here’s the thing: burnout doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. Recognizing the signs and taking action isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s the exact opposite. And hey, if you need more encouragement (or just want to hear some great stories about burnout and surviving it), check out the video conversation I had with Josh Boldman, Derry Prenket, and Todd Pearage [You can watch it here].

Hang in there, friend. You’ve got this—and the next time you’re tempted to throw hands in a staff meeting, just remember: pizza solves most problems.

14 Oct 2024

4 Things I Would Change if I Were Starting Today

By Ronald|2024-10-14T09:53:37-07:00October 14th, 2024|Youth Ministry Ideas|6 Comments

I’ve been in youth ministry for 16 years, which is wild—my youth ministry career could practically drive a car by now! Though, I’d probably need to take the test at least twice.

If I were starting at my very first church with all the experience, knowledge, and mistakes I’ve made along the way, what would I do differently? Or, if I were starting brand new at a church right now, what are the four things I would change?

Here they are!

I’d Have More Fun

I’ve heard it said many times, “What you win them with is what you win them to!”—as if having fun and being joyful in ministry is a bad thing.

Maybe it was my youth and lack of experience, but when I started out, I wanted to make sure everyone knew how serious I was.

If I were starting today, I’d be more willing to have fun with students, volunteers, parents, and the church as a whole. I’ve learned there are plenty of ways to show people I’m mature and capable, but only one way to show them I can have fun!

What would that look like? I’d be more comfortable incorporating games into lessons. I’d enjoy having fun with students outside of youth group without needing to add a spiritual element to everything. I’d also be okay with having fun just for fun’s sake.

I’d Focus More on Parents

This was definitely because of my youth, but I didn’t reach out to parents as much as I should have when I was starting out.

I was laser-focused on students, which is great—but now, if I were starting again, I’d make time for more coffees and lunches with parents. I’ve come to realize I didn’t need to have kids of my own to minister to parents effectively.

I’d take parents out to coffee and ask them about the challenges their families were facing. I’d ask how I could pray for them and find ways the ministry could better support them.

I’d listen a lot and communicate even more.

Speaking of…

I’d Over-Communicate Everything

We live in a world where communication is easier than ever. We have free email services, free social media platforms, free texting services, and free graphics tools.

What a time to be alive!

I’d make sure I was sending out consistent and well-thought-out communication every week. For parents, that would be an email with what we studied that week and the details of our most recent event. For students, I’d post frequently on social media about upcoming events and ask questions related to what we studied in youth group.

I’d Have an Easy-to-Communicate Vision

For both parents and students, I’d want them to clearly understand why we were doing what we were doing. I’d develop a ready-to-share “elevator pitch” to explain the purpose of our ministry.

At my last church, I communicated that we aimed for students to “Belong, Believe, and Become.” We wanted students to feel a sense of belonging at youth group, believe the Gospel, and become the people God created them to be by giving them opportunities to grow into that identity.

I also told parents that we’d focus on teaching students about the Attributes of God, the Gospel, Spiritual Disciplines, and Relationships. Could we cover more? Absolutely. But we wanted to ensure those four pillars were solid foundations for everything we did.

More than anything, I’d want parents to feel confident that I had a clear grasp of what we were doing and why.

Those are the four things I would change and focus on if I were just starting out today.

How about you? Any thoughts or suggestions? I’d love to hear them!

15 Jul 2024

How to Do a Summer Check-In with Yourself in the Middle of a Crazy Season

By Ronald|2024-07-15T05:05:25-07:00July 15th, 2024|Leadership|10 Comments

As youth pastors, we know summer can be one of the busiest times of the year. Between camps, mission trips, and events, getting lost in the hustle and bustle is easy. Taking time for a self-check-in is essential to stay healthy, spiritually nourished, and effective in your ministry. You can’t serve from a place of complete burnout and exhaustion. It’s also near impossible to help others connect with God when you feel far from Him because you’re so busy serving.

Here are three steps to help you do just that:

1. Reflect and Reconnect with God

Why It’s Important: Your spiritual health is the foundation of your ministry. It’s challenging to pour into others effectively without a strong connection to God.

How to Do It:

Set Aside Quiet Time: Carve out at least 15-30 minutes daily to pray, read Scripture, and meditate on God’s word. This can be early morning, during a lunch break, or in the evening.
Journaling: Write down what God is teaching you during this season. Reflect on His faithfulness and any areas where you feel He’s leading you to grow.
Worship: Listen to worship music or sing your favorite hymns. Let the lyrics remind you of God’s goodness and sovereignty.

Pro Tip: Don’t see this as another task on your to-do list. It’s a vital time to refill your spiritual tank and hear from God amidst the busyness.

2. Evaluate Your Physical and Emotional Health

Why It’s Important: Your body and mind are instruments for God’s work. Neglecting your physical and emotional well-being can lead to burnout and affect the effectiveness of your ministry.

How to Do It:

Physical Health Check: Assess your current health habits. Are you getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and exercising regularly? Small adjustments can significantly affect your energy levels and overall well-being.
Emotional Health Check: Reflect on your emotional state. Are you feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or joyful? It’s okay to acknowledge your feelings. Talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or counselor if you need support.
Rest and Recharge: Schedule downtime to rest and do things you enjoy. Whether reading a book, hiking, or spending time with family, prioritize rest.

Pro Tip: Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential. You can’t serve others well if you’re running on empty.

3. Reassess Your Ministry Goals and Priorities

Why It’s Important: During a busy season, losing sight of your ministry’s overarching goals is easy. Reassessing ensures you stay aligned with your mission and make the most impact.

How to Do It:

Review Your Goals: Review the goals you set at the beginning of the summer. Are you on track? Do any goals need to be adjusted or prioritized differently?
Celebrate Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate the successes and progress made, no matter how small. This can boost morale and provide encouragement to keep going.
Delegate and Collaborate: Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks to your team or involve volunteers more. Empowering others lightens your load and fosters a sense of community and shared purpose.

Pro Tip: Keep a flexible mindset. Ministry is dynamic, and sometimes plans need to change. Be open to where God is leading, even if it’s different from your initial plan.

Taking time for a summer check-in can rejuvenate your spirit, mind, and body, enabling you to serve more effectively and joyfully. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Lean on God and your community, and take care of yourself to continue to pour into the lives of the youth you minister to.

1 Jul 2024

You Will Always Be Their Youth Pastor

By Ronald|2024-07-01T05:51:34-07:00July 1st, 2024|Youth Ministry Ideas|6 Comments

I had a former student from my previous church reach out to me. That may not be the biggest deal, but the last time I was in a youth room with this student was about 15 years ago and four states away.

He thought of me because of how I ministered to him in his teenage years. I had impacted him, and because of that impact, he wanted to reach out to me when he needed some encouragement and direction.

No matter why you are no longer the youth pastor at your previous church, the students you ministered to will consider you their youth pastor. It doesn’t matter if you were promoted, fired, or moved across the country. There will be students who think back to their youth group days and think of YOU as their youth pastor.

So what can you do when those students reach back out to you?

Pray for Them

Usually, former students reach out because they need some spiritual direction. In this time of searching, remember to take some time to pray for them. This may seem secondhand to some, but for those of you who may no longer be at a church but instead work in a different field, it may not be as intuitive.

We talk about our students being missionaries at their school. We encourage them to pray for their friends, teachers, coaches, etc. We may forget this for ourselves when we’re no longer working at a church.

Remember that these students see you as their spiritual leader. Or, at the very least, remember you as such. Take this opportunity to lead them spiritually!

Be Their Cheerleader

Have you ever reached out to a friend or family member for help in a time of need? What did you need from them? Hope? Wisdom? Love? Encouragement?

Probably a little bit of all of those.

Take this opportunity to be your former student’s cheerleader!

They may have reached out to you during real pain, worry, anxiety, or fear. Encourage them in their time of need!

Remind them how much God loves them, that you love them, and that you are on their team.

Help Them Get Connected

The former student who reached out to me sought consistent spiritual guidance. Now, in the time of Zoom and FaceTime and all the ways we get connected, I could have offered them all of those things.

But I know what I need when I have been in those dark times.

I needed people.

Face to face, knee to knee, toe to toe people.

I hit up my buddy, who is still serving in that area. I told him I had been contacted by a student and asked if he’d be willing to meet. And I ask the student if he’d be willing to hang with a friend of mine.

Everybody was.

It’s a great idea to try to stay in contact with pastors and mentors in your previous church if you can. So that when a former student reaches out, you can connect them to people who can actually meet face-to-face.

And if you’re still in the area, arrange a coffee and hang out in person!

There’s something about face-to-face, in-person time together that can’t be beat.

Point Them to Jesus

You served this student as their spiritual leader for a time. That’s probably why they are reaching out to you specifically. When you were their spiritual leader, it was your job to point them to Jesus. It’s still the best thing you can do!

Whether they are far from God or just feeling that way, take some time to point them back to their Savior. Remind them how much Jesus loves them and encourage them with the good news of the Gospel.

Not platitudes or pithy sayings.

The real person of Christ.

Read Scripture over them. Remind them of what Jesus did in His day and what He’s doing right now.

That’s the best thing you can do as a spiritual guide and mentor!

Keep At It

I got a text yesterday from the pastor I had connected my former student to. They had made the decision to get baptized! I was so grateful for the church as I watched my former student get baptized by the pastor who replaced the pastor who replaced me.

We’re not in ministry to bring ourselves glory.

We’re in ministry to point others to Jesus.

And it was a beautiful moment to be a part of.

Remember: you’ll always be someone’s student pastor or youth minister.

When they reach out to you, point them to Jesus and be grateful for the time you have been given to minister to them!

10 Jun 2024

Oh No It’s Youth Movie Night!

By Ronald|2024-06-10T09:08:40-07:00June 10th, 2024|Youth Ministry Ideas|13 Comments

I’ve seen it a lot.

It’s the summer. You’ve got a lot on your plate. You’re scrambling to add just one more event to the calendar. Or you have intentionally planned a chill event after a week-long mission trip.

What’s easier than putting on a movie and microwaving popcorn for your students?

Very little!

But let’s be real, sometimes a harmless movie night can turn into A LOT of angry emails. Especially if you’ve got hypervigilant parents who think Veggie Tales is a little too mainstream.

So, what to do?

Well, first, check out this movie list. It’s not conclusive, but it can get you started! Picking the right movie is KEY!

Pick a Movie

Are you doing a faith-based movie? An animated sing-a-long? An action or sci-fi flick? Great! Have fun with it! Then, I go check out a website I use to see what’s in a movie. Common Sense Media is my go-to, but you can search just about any movie by putting it into Google with “how many cuss words does _____” It will get you far and save you a lot of trouble.

Watch it First

I know, you’re busy. But if you want to put students before a movie, you will want to watch it first. Don’t slack here. Put it on while you catch up on emails or clean the youth room. If something DOES come up, you want to be able to say, “Yes, I watched the movie and prepared students for that.”

Plan it Out

Does the movie push the boundaries? Send an email. Tell parents WHY you want to watch that movie. Explain what difficult scene their students will see. Tie it into your teaching for the month. Prepare and communicate. That way, you’ve got parents sorted, and no one is surprised. Besides, an extra 30 minutes of work can make you look like a rockstar who totally didn’t just put a movie night on the calendar to have an easy week.

Have Some Games!

DYM is full of resources you can use for your movie night. There are tons of movie-themed games in the DYM store. Go see them all! And with a little bit of effort, your low-key event turns into a great hang with your students!

Get a License

Ugh. LEGAL STUFF!? Yeah, I know. Most youth pastors think you can just watch a movie and pray for forgiveness. But you actually DO have to get a license to show a movie. Unless you know the owner of the movie’s copyright. Just where are you doing youth ministry anyway? Head to this website to grab a license. Put it in your budget. The lawyer, a deacon, and the head of the youth committee will thank you.

Any other suggestions? I’d love to hear them!

3 Jun 2024

Summer Camp Leader Survival Bag

By Ronald|2024-06-03T06:34:29-07:00June 3rd, 2024|Youth Ministry Ideas, youth mission trips|10 Comments

Summer is upon us!

Which means camp is probably here soon (or next week!). You’ve got leaders ready to go with you on the trip. They aren’t your normal adults. They’re the ones who have a week of vacation they’re willing to burn, or they’re stay-at-home moms or retired seniors who like students enough to spend a week with them. But is there a way you can show them that you care about them and want to thrive during the week of summer camp?

I present to you: the Camp Leader Survival Bag.

What a great way to let leaders know you love them, are thankful for them and want them to have a great week of camp! It doesn’t have to be big, but it can have a big impact. Here some ideas of what you can put inside!

Earplugs – Needs no explanation.

Sleep mask – Do the cabins have blinds? NO? Cool.

Favorite snack and drink – text them and ask or have them fill out a quick Google form survey

Clorox wipes – You don’t know where that student has been

OTC Pain Reliever – We’re not young anymore. That’s why we’re CHAPERONES!

Leader Journal – They’ll have thoughts. Good and bad. Give them a place to write them out!

Sunscreen – It’s hot out there

Bugspray – Mosquitos are evidence of the fall. I’m sure of it.

Electrolytes – For adding to your water bottle that you definitely remembered.

Gum – You endeavor to brush your teeth, but camp happens.

Icy Hot Patches – You know. You know, you know.

Put all of it in a swag bag with your student ministry logo and look like a rockstar! Got any other ideas? I’d love to hear them!

Do YOU need a summer survival kit? DYM has got you covered! Grab this kit to get started right! Click this to find out more!

Need some ideas and resources to help you with summer programming? We’ve got you covered! Need help to prepare your leaders for summer camp? Check. It’s in here. Wondering what series to teach? Not to worry! This pack has got it all and more!

Summer Events Canva Graphics 6-Pack: Help plan your summer with ease using this event graphics 6-Pack which includes slides, Instagram Story & grid posts that you can customize on Canva!
Known: Discovering Our Identity in Christ: A 4-week series on our identity, value, and purpose in Christ.
Summer Camp Counselor Toolkit: If you run a summer camp or even just attend one and want some sweet pre-made resources for your counselors, then this is the tool kit for you.
Total Event Prep Kit: A resource to help leaders plan, execute & evaluate an event

13 Feb 2023

4 Tips for Encouraging your Parents

By Ronald|2023-02-13T10:06:50-08:00February 13th, 2023|Parents, Youth Ministry Hacks|5 Comments

I need to share a big mistake I’ve made as a youth pastor. I’ve been in ministry now for 19 years, 17 of which have been fully dedicated to student ministry and raising up the next generation of Christ followers and leaders. Over that time, I’ve led almost 1000 youth services, 28 retreats, and seen hundreds of teens making recorded decisions to follow Jesus and be baptized. It’s been a fun ride full of ups and downs. However, I would say for the first half of my career, I made a huge mistake that I want to share for you to learn from. If I had identified this mistake sooner, I’m confident I would have seen more fruit in the ministries I was leading and better longevity for students after they left high school. Are you ready? The mistake I made was not being intentional with the parents under my care.

Now, I know some of you might be thinking, “Big deal Theo – we are a youth ministry, not a family ministry. It’s okay! I’m sure you did great during your first half.” But hear me out… Youth ministry IS a family ministry whether we like it or not. We have these students for 1-3 hours a week. Parents have the students significantly longer than that. In fact, it took me about half of my ministry career to realize that a parent’s influence will remain in a student’s life long after my time with their student is done. So, I began a shift to connect and encourage the parents within my ministry. As a result, I saw more engaged families within our ministry. I saw better collaboration between our small group leaders and families. And yes, I even saw some families skipping certain sports activities so their students could attend Mid-Week youth group or our weekend retreats/camps. The following ideas are some tips and tricks for how you can encourage your parents:

Don’t be afraid of parents.

When I first started in ministry at the age of 18, I was terrified of parents. Yes, I was in college learning about youth ministry, but I was barely out of high school. I didn’t know how to talk to adults. I thought if parents had a conversation with me, they would realize I was flying by the seat of my pants and never bring their kids back! What I didn’t realize at the time was that most parents of middle or high school students knew they needed a village to help raise their teens. So, they were actively looking for anyone to partner with. In my later years of youth ministry, instead of hiding from parents deep within the facility, I started standing by the front door to greet parents as they picked up their few and chatted with them. Parents are nothing to be afraid of. In fact, they are eager to talk with anyone who cares about their students.

Find low-effort ways to encourage parents.

This could be a monthly e-mail. A bi-weekly social media post. A newsletter you had out at the beginning of the quarter. The goal of this particular connection point ISN’T to tell them about upcoming events. It isn’t to tell them about the mission trip fundraiser or the camp deadline that just passed. It’s just to connect and encourage your parents. Acknowledge the difficulties of raising teenagers in our current culture. Acknowledge the difficulties of parenting students in the age of Tik Tok and Google searches. Acknowledge that they are currently parenting during one of the most difficult times in human history to parent teens. Then tell them it’s okay that they are tired, that they don’t have all the answers, and that they feel overwhelmed. Let them know you see them. Equip them with an article or two that can help them understand the culture their students are in better. Then encourage them with one action they can do to spiritually influence their teens. I opted for a quarterly newsletter which we mailed out and physically handed out to students to give to parents. Getting physical communication is so rare these days. I felt like it stands out when you do get something.

Create Yearly rhythms for your whole ministry to encourage parents.

In my ministry, we started a 6th and 9th-grade parent event after church (two different days.) We went to the local pizza/arcade (think Dave and Busters or Main Event, but a little more run down cause we’re on a budget!) and treated students and parents to pizza and games. After the food, we dismissed the teens to go have fun and me and my leaders spent some time vision casting to these parents who were nervous about their student entering the next phase of life. We always did this in early summer, so we weren’t competing with school activities. It was also a GREAT way of plating our ministry flag in the family at the beginning of this new phase of life before school activities had a chance to fill up the space.

Another thing we did was just have a parent night in the fall. If you’ve never run a parent night before, check out this resource I created for youth ministries on COLEADER. If you are interested, it has everything you need to pull off a great parent night that will feel fruitful and fun, and help kick-start parent engagement.

Train your team to be specific.

Don’t be a superhero. You likely have a team of other people with you who love students. Don’t take the weight of trying to encourage every parent. Instead, train your team to look for specific things in the students they oversee and then pass that encouragement on to a parent. Raising teenagers is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and most parents are just trying their hardest to work a full-time job, care for their own mental health, and raise kids. From experience, I would say most parents don’t feel like they aren’t doing enough or don’t even know where to start. So when they get positive feedback that their mini-human did something selfless, it’s the best news a parent can get!

Make it your mission to deliver this good news to parents as often as you can. If a leader notices a student do something positive worth sharing with a parent, help that leader connect with the parent. Find them after youth group. Search for their contact information on the church database and send them a letter, e-mail, or text (who calls anymore?). Getting specific positive feedback about a student can sustain a parent during the times they feel like they’re drowning in the uncharted sea of raising teenagers.

Theo Davis serves as the Multi-Site Youth Pastor at Restore Community Church in Kansas City, Missouri. He has worked in youth ministry for 16 years in a variety of settings which include church plants, rural churches, and mega-churches on the East Coast and now Midwest. He received his degree in Youth Ministry from Eastern University in 2008 and has continued to leverage his education with real-world experience. He and his wife Malia are huge gamers and named their kids after video game characters — Zelda & Shepherd (from The Legend of Zelda and the Mass Effect Series). Theo also loves action figures, and spends his spare time developing his musical and visual art talents. Follow him on Instagram @theo_davis

Need some resources to help encourage your parents? Check out these winners from DYM!

You probably didn’t go into youth ministry to focus on parents. In fact, sometimes we look at them as a hurdle to what we are trying to accomplish. Yet, there is no escaping the fact that they are an integral part of what we do and how we do it. Sometimes the best way to minister to your teens is by ministering to their parents. Allow these texts to serve as encouragement and coaching to them. Many of these are seasonal: first week of school, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mothers’ Day, etc… Like a great DYM-product… it’s done for you. This is a great deal!

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Reflections for Parents is a prayer station experience designed specifically for parents. If you are looking for a way to connect with parents and earn their trust, provide a meaningful development opportunity, or an encouraging night out, this resource is for you.

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