Concluding our week, we wanted to talk specifically about a serious topic.  

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 34. Suicide is a heavy subject. Many fear that bringing up the topic, or even the word, will cause someone to think about it. However, this is not the case. Talking openly and honestly about suicide makes students feel safe and more supported. Some students will be more upfront about thoughts of suicide, while others may hide their plans. As youth workers, students trust you. If they are bringing this topic up to you, you cannot promise to keep it a secret.  

A brief note on self-harm: 

Self-harm can result because of a few factors. For some, it serves as a distraction from intense emotional pain. For others, it can be because they have a feeling of numbness and self-harm brings the result of feeling something. It can also become a way of communicating to others that they are hurting and desperate for help. However, it’s not always a form of communication. Some will be very secretive about self-harm and are solely focused on bringing some sort of temporary relief. Because it brings temporary relief, it can be reinforcing, and students can continue to come back to the behavior to deal with painful or overwhelming feelings. One of the most common triggers for self-harm is the feeling of rejection. Self-harm does not always mean suicide; however, the behavior is a sign for deep pain that could lead to suicidal tendencies and attempt.  

5 Tips for Walking with Students Who May Be Suicidal 

1.Talk about it 

• If you think a student is suicidal, talk about it. You won’t give them ideas or put the thought in their head.  Students need a calm voice that is more interested in understanding their feelings rather than a fearful, anxious, or critical voice. 
• Things to ask:
  • “Are you feeling suicidal” 
  • “Do you have a plan?”  
  • How detailed is the plan, do they know how they would do it, what’s the time frame, do they have access to things like firearms, meds, etc.?  
• Determine the severity of their current state.  Do they need to go to the ER? 

2. Show Love 

• Students need to feel, hear, and see that they are loved.
• Repeatedly, tell them how much you care about them and love them.  

3. Be Empathetic 

• Remember to validate the students’ feelings.
• Make statements and comments that express empathy instead of telling them how they should feel.  

4. Stay in Touch 

• Keep in contact with the student.
• This can be through texting, calling, over social media, meeting up for coffee, going on a walk.
• When a student misses a small or youth group, reach out and let them know they were missed, and you hope they can make it the next time. Avoid making them feel guilty for missing. 

5. Partner with Parents 

• The parent must be involved in the conversation.
• Many students are afraid to tell their parents or talk with them about what they are feeling. You get to be a safe person the student can bring along to talk with the parent.
• You cannot keep this a secret. Offer to talk to parents WITH the student, agree to a date that they will talk to their parents by, if they don’t by that date let them know you will share with their parents for them.

ADDITIONAL MENTAL HEALTH  RESOURCES 

• Crisis Text Line: Text “START” to 741741 in USA 
• National Eating Disorder Association:  Call 1-800-931-2237 
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) 
• For LGBTQ Youth Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386, Trevor Text -Text START to 678-678 
• Mental Health First Aid 
• Become certified as a Mental Health First Aider (like CPR) 
• National Alliance on Mental Illness 

Want to start conversations about Mental Health in your youth group? Check out a brand new Mental Health series at Download Youth Ministry:

My Friend is Struggling With

This 4-week series addresses mental health from a physical, mental, and spiritual perspective. Mental illnesses are real and daunting, but even in the middle of it, there can be hope. The first week gives a mental health overview, the second week addresses depression, the third week addresses anxiety, and the fourth week addresses suicide.

For the month of May, 100% of the proceeds for this resource will go to a scholarship fund to help youth workers with a mental health challenge see a counselor. If you are interested in this scholarship, you can fill out the application here.

Michelle lives in Idaho with her husband where they love to spend time outdoors, go on new adventures, and find the best chicken wings and coffee places. She also possess the ability to kill any plant that comes into their home. She also is the Co-Host of the Middle School Ministry Podcast. Listen here!

Feeding and Eating disorders are often characterized by an unhealthy relationship with food, whether that is through excessive eating or refusal to eat enough to maintain a healthy weight, and a distorted body image. Although more often diagnosed in girls, boys are also diagnosed but can be missed because it is harder to spot. Not everyone with an eating disorder appears underweight, eating disorders appear all over the spectrum. 

The most common feeding and eating disorders we see in students include anorexia, bulimia, and purge eating. Anorexia can be characterized by a refusal to eat, excessive weight loss, and distorted body image. A person with anorexia believes they are too fat, while everyone else sees them as far too thin. Bulimia can be characterized by frequent binge eating, followed by purging and/or strenuous dieting. Unlike anorexia, bulimia is often recognized by a normal weight or somewhat overweight. Binge eating is often accompanied by a feeling of having lost control, and often done in secret accompanied by shame and guilt. Similar to bulimia, weight is normal or overweight, however binge eating disorder is not accompanied by trying to get rid of the food by purging. 

4 Practical Ways to Support a Student with an Eating Disorder: 

1.Have Healthy Snacks Available

• Keep healthy snacks in your office, the youth room, kitchen, etc. 
• Fruits, Veggies, Granola Bars, Popcorn, Nuts, Pretzels, etc.  

2. Offer Support  

• Be there to support them along their recovery journey. 
• Show compassion and understanding. 
• Be aware of how you talk about body image in your group.

3. Be Extra Aware at Camps and Retreats 

• Be aware of how much the student is eating, watch if they have skipped meals. 
• Have volunteers keep eyes their peeled for any students who have missed multiple meals, etc.
• Require all students and leaders to attend meals.  
• If doing high energy activities, make a deal on how much or what they need to eat in order to do the activity. 
• Have them bring food you know they will eat.  

4. Partner with Parents  

• If you notice a student not eating consistently, or recognize other signs of an eating disorder, talk with the parent.  
• If they are already aware, find out what their plan is and how you can support the student.

Resources:  

National Eating Disorder Association 

When Your Teen Has an eating disorder: Practical Strategies to Help Your Teen Recover from Anorexia, Bulimia, and Binge Eating 

Want to start conversations about Mental Health in your youth group? Check out a brand new Mental Health series at Download Youth Ministry:

My Friend is Struggling With

This 4-week series addresses mental health from a physical, mental, and spiritual perspective. Mental illnesses are real and daunting, but even in the middle of it, there can be hope. The first week gives a mental health overview, the second week addresses depression, the third week addresses anxiety, and the fourth week addresses suicide.

For the month of May, 100% of the proceeds for this resource will go to a scholarship fund to help youth workers with a mental health challenge see a counselor. If you are interested in this scholarship, you can fill out the application here.

Michelle lives in Idaho with her husband where they love to spend time outdoors, go on new adventures, and find the best chicken wings and coffee places. She also possess the ability to kill any plant that comes into their home. She also is the Co-Host of the Middle School Ministry Podcast. Listen here!

Continuing in our series, today we are looking at students who struggle with ADD/ADHD.

ADHD makes it difficult for kids to focus on their schoolwork and every day tasks, to pay attention, and sit still. It’s often harder for them to control themselves than other kids their age. ADHD can take form in two kinds of behaviors; inattentive and impulsive.

Impulsive behaviors can include fidgeting, struggling to sit still, constantly talking or interrupting, and being impatient. Inattentive behaviors might look like making careless mistakes, being easily distracted, having a hard time following instruction, and forgetting or losing things often.

Practical Ways to Help Teenagers with ADD/ADHD:

1. Provide Fidget Toys

• Have a box with a mixture of fidget toys available somewhere in your space that students know about.
• Being able to hold/play with a fidget toy can help students focus.

2. Encourage Peer Relationships

• It’s often times harder for students with ADD/ADHD to make and/or keep friends.
• These students can also be more subject to bullying or bully others.
• Encourage extracurricular activities, participation in games, events.

3. Self-Regulation Ideas

• Give time frames for when things are going to begin/end
  • Ex: When playing video games before service, give adequate time to let them know it’s going to be time to stop playing.
• Cool-Off Space
  • Have a place in your building or facility where a student can go if they need to calm down or take a breath.
• Allow the student to stand or walk in the back of the room during the lesson.

4. Check in with and resource your volunteers

• These students often require some extra grace, see how you can help your volunteers navigate that.
• If the student is a talker, give them the job of reading the small group questions, coming up with an ice breaker question for the group, etc.

Resources:

Fidget Toy Pack on Amazon

CHADD – Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder

Want to start conversations about Mental Health in your youth group? Check out a brand new Mental Health series at Download Youth Ministry:

My Friend is Struggling With

This 4-week series addresses mental health from a physical, mental, and spiritual perspective. Mental illnesses are real and daunting, but even in the middle of it, there can be hope. The first week gives a mental health overview, the second week addresses depression, the third week addresses anxiety, and the fourth week addresses suicide.

For the month of May, 100% of the proceeds for this resource will go to a scholarship fund to help youth workers with a mental health challenge see a counselor. If you are interested in this scholarship, you can fill out the application here.

Michelle lives in Idaho with her husband where they love to spend time outdoors, go on new adventures, and find the best chicken wings and coffee places. She also possess the ability to kill any plant that comes into their home. She also is the Co-Host of the Middle School Ministry Podcast. Listen here!

Our series continues as we tackle how to support students who might be struggling with depression.

Alongside of anxiety, depression is also one of the most diagnosed disorders in the United States. Depression involves severe symptoms that affect how a person feels, thinks, and handles daily activities like eating, sleeping, and/or working or school. In 2020, it was estimated that 4.1 million adolescents between 12-17 had at least one major depressive episode (NIMH, Major Depression, 2022).  So I think it’s fair to say that there are students in our ministries who are experiencing symptoms of depression.

How can we show up for them? Here are a few ways…

6 Practical Ways to Care for Students Who are Struggling With Depression 

1.Encourage Professional Help  

• You don’t have to have all the answers, but having a trusted list of professionals to refer students and parents to is key!
• Counseling, Medical Professional, and/or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy are all things a student could benefit from.
  

2. Be Supportive 

• Validate their emotions, not unhealthy behavior.
  

3. Be Compassionately Curious  

• Ask questions gently and patiently 
• Don’t try to solve the problem, simply be present

4. Notice the Positive Things  

• Make sure to notice the small things, encourage them in that. 

5. Partner with Parents 

• If the student hasn’t talked to their family, this is a MUST. You cannot keep depression a secret.  
• Offer to talk to parents WITH the student, agree to a date that they will talk to their parents by, if they don’t by that date let them know you will share with their parents for them.
• If the parent is already aware, check in with them about their student, but also check in on the parent. 

6. Check in with the student  

• If they haven’t been showing up for a while, text them, call them, DM them on social media. 
• Don’t make them feel bad for missing youth group, just acknowledge you are thinking about them.  
• Offer to take them out somewhere, 1-on-1  
  • Ask for parent permission. 
  • Don’t be offended if they say no, the ask goes a long way.  

Resources: 

Anxiety and Depression Association of America 

Seen: Healing Despair And Anxiety In Kids And Teens Through The Power Of Connection 

To Write Love on Her Arms 

Want to start conversations about Mental Health in your youth group? Check out a brand new Mental Health series at Download Youth Ministry:

My Friend is Struggling With

This 4-week series addresses mental health from a physical, mental, and spiritual perspective. Mental illnesses are real and daunting, but even in the middle of it, there can be hope. The first week gives a mental health overview, the second week addresses depression, the third week addresses anxiety, and the fourth week addresses suicide.

For the month of May, 100% of the proceeds for this resource will go to a scholarship fund to help youth workers with a mental health challenge see a counselor. If you are interested in this scholarship, you can fill out the application here.

Michelle lives in Idaho with her husband where they love to spend time outdoors, go on new adventures, and find the best chicken wings and coffee places. She also possess the ability to kill any plant that comes into their home. She also is the Co-Host of the Middle School Ministry Podcast. Listen here!

In 2021, the CDC officially declared a National Emergency in Child and Adolescent Mental Health. The rates of childhood mental health concerns have grown steadily since 2010, and by 2017 suicide was the second leading cause of death among youth and young adults aged 10-34. The Coronavirus pandemic has only increased and intensified the situation around mental health. Even more so than adults, adolescents and young adults are fighting for their lives behind hidden doors, unsure of where to go, or who to talk to. As the church, we get to be a safe space for students, and young adults, to feel accepted for where they are at, loved for who they are, and provide hope for the future.  

 Janet Haag (2019) brings painful statistics to the frontline that, “1 in 5 Americans have a diagnosable mental health condition. 50% of these conditions show up by age 14; 75% by age 24, so it should come as no surprise that 1 in 5 youth ages 13-18 lives with significant mental health challenges, depression and anxiety topping this list.”  

So, what does this mean for your ministry?  

Well, the reality is, that you have students in your ministry right now, who are dealing with mental health issues. If you don’t, you will. There are things that you can be doing right now to help your students feel that the church is a safe and belonging place for them. Below are the most common mental health disorders that adolescents are dealing with. Before we get to that though, there is something incredibly important we must understand.  

Our job is not to diagnose someone (or yourself). Our job is to observe changes in behavior, be a listening ear, and help students and families take next steps as needed.  

So, what does this look like in a ministry context? Throughout this week, we are going to be talking about the most common mental health disorders in students, and share some super practical things that you can do to care for hurting students right away. This list is not exhaustive or definitive, it’s simply made up of a few suggestions of things we can do to support our students.  

Let’s start with the most common mental illness diagnosed in the United States. If you have a student that deals with anxiety, here are a few things you can do to make your student feel more comfortable, and help them find ways to cope during youth group, an event, camp, or any ministry setting.

5 Practical Ways to Care for Students Who are Struggling With Anxiety

1.Help the student slow their breathing

• • Slow, deep breaths are key. 
  • Practice breathing WITH them.
  • Check out apps like Calm or Headspace. 

2. Walk and Talk

• • Sometimes students just need to step away from everything and take a break.  
  • Go on a walk around the building with them, to a park, etc. 

3. Talk openly about anxiety 

• • The goal isn’t to get rid of their anxiety, but manage it. 
  • Find other people who are further along on their anxiety journey that can be an encouragement to the student.

4. Talk with the student’s family/parents 

• • The role of the church should be to partner with families. 
  • If the student hasn’t talked to their family, this is a MUST. You cannot keep mental health challenges a secret.
    TIP: Offer to talk to parents WITH the student, agree to a date that they will talk to their parents by, if they don’t by that date let them know you will share with their parents for them.

5. Partner with professionals  

• • Have a list of trusted professionals on hand that you can refer out to (get this referral list approved by your church leadership).
  • This list can include, but is not limited to: counselors, outpatient clinics, health care facilities, etc. 

Additional Resources: 

• Anxiety Workbook for Teens  
• Calm App 
• Child Mind Institute – How Anxiety Affects Teenagers
  
  

Check out this brand new Mental Health series at Download Youth Ministry:

My Friend is Struggling With

This 4-week series addresses mental health from a physical, mental, and spiritual perspective. Mental illnesses are real and daunting, but even in the middle of it, there can be hope. The first week gives a mental health overview, the second week addresses depression, the third week addresses anxiety, and the fourth week addresses suicide.

For the month of May, 100% of the proceeds for this resource will go to a scholarship fund to help youth workers with a mental health challenge see a counselor. If you are interested in this scholarship, you can fill out the application here.

Michelle lives in Idaho with her husband where they love to spend time outdoors, go on new adventures, and find the best chicken wings and coffee places. She also possess the ability to kill any plant that comes into their home. She also is the Co-Host of the Middle School Ministry Podcast. Listen here!