Last Sunday I had the need to take care of something very important before our program got started.

Namely, I had to go to the bathroom.

It’s no big deal, I thought. I was just going to excuse myself for a moment and then come back and ask my student tech team to get the countdown ready. Then I would make sure that the girl who was doing announcements for me was ready to go and check to make sure my game person had everything they needed.

After I came back for my very quick trip to the restroom, including a responsible twenty second hand wash, I discovered an unexpected scene.

The countdown video had already played and the student who was supposed to be doing announcements was doing just that.

In fact, she made a big deal out of me coming back into the room and said “And don’t worry everybody, Ronald is still here!”

I got called out for being late to my own ministry! From the STAGE!

This is what’s going to happen if you put students in charge.

A while ago I started giving away on-stage responsibility to students. We already have a middle school band and a middle school tech team in the booth, but I was reluctant to give away the job of announcements and game leader. Aside from teaching, those are some of my favorite times up on the stage.

But I knew it was important to hand that over to students, so I begin the process of training them to take it over.

Lo and behold, when you give students responsibilities and tell them they’re in charge, they’re going to start acting like they’re in charge.

Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way:

Set wide river banks

It’s great to have rules and roles when you hand over things to students. When you want them to perform a certain task, it’s definitely better to say wide river banks so that they can operate with some creative license and freedom.

I give them a one-page job description for their role. Here’s a few of them:

Middle School Game Leader

Middle School Welcome Time

It’s going to feel uncomfortable, but let students try to figure things out. Give them responsibility and let them know what you expect. That said…

Offer lots of advice

Make sure you offer feedback! Tell a student what they are doing well and offer them advice on how they can improve. If you’ve got a student doing announcements who is reading them verbatim, offer them a chance to practice giving the announcements off the cuff with you afterward.

If you have a student playing games, give them a chance to figure out how they can make it more exciting for the students who are playing. And whenever you see some killer advice on how to play games with your students, pass it on to your team! Like these two I shared with my students:

3 Ways to Quickly Pivot a Youth Ministry Game That is Bombing on Stage

5 Tips For Hosting Next-Level Camp Games

Let them be students

They are going to be silly. And Mesa. And might even swear on stage. I hope that last time doesn’t happen, but it might. Let your students be students.

When you give away responsibility, they’re going to run with it. Let them fail forward and be ridiculous in the process.

I have found there’s a whole lot of joy in letting students be themselves as they work on the roles they have been assigned.

Give more away

Once you’ve given away some responsibility, keep doing it! I didn’t wanna give away stage time, but I challenge myself to intentionally let students do a part of the job that I love.

There is more that I can give to them. And I hope to soon!

It helps students be the church and helps us equip the saints. It’s definitely something we should do more often.

Be careful though. If you put students in charge, there’s a good chance you’ll get called out for being late from the stage.

We had a pretty animated conversation on the way home last night.

I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t enjoy receiving that text from a parent at 9:45 pm. I know the family, the small group, and the student well. I also knew the topic of conversation was not something that was going to be easily resolved during the prayer request time of a small group or in a text message late at night.

After following up with the parent and the small group leader, I was reminded of something important when it comes to communicating and dealing with misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and ideological differences.

Whenever you are trying to get the full story about something that was communicated, remember these three things:

What was SAID

This is the first and easiest to deal with. What were the actual words communicated? It’s easier to verify this when the message is over email or text, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be clear.

Also, when you’re asking a small group leader or a student what they actually said, you are sometimes going to hear a couple different variations. But we always have to start with the actual words that were said during an exchange.

Sometimes this is where you need to correct.

Often the best approach here is just asking a question. Sometimes that’s enough to let somebody know that what they said was perhaps too harsh or inappropriate for the situation.

What was HEARD

No matter what words were actually spoken or written, sometimes we need to clarify what the person receiving those words actually heard.

If you work with middle school students like I do, you know it’s really easy for words or meaning to get lost in the air between the two of you.

“Can you repeat back to me what I just said?”

If you can ask this question with a caring tone and not in an accusatory way, you can really figure out how someone is interpreting the message you are trying to get across. And you might be really surprised when they do not hear what you are trying to communicate.

This is your opportunity to rephrase or put into context your previous statement. There are lots of different reasons someone might not hear what you are trying to say. Clarifying what you are trying to say can go a long way.

As a leader, you can also train your small group leaders to realize that what they SAY is not always what is HEARD.

What was FELT

This one is tough, because it’s hard to control. In fact, there’s only so much we can do with this. We can make our voice soothing. We can have a neutral or positive expression on our face. But no matter what we attempt to do to soften what gets said, our students will have a felt reaction to what we say.

The good news is that we can follow up in a lot of different ways:

You can ask, “How do you feel about what I just said?”

It sounds too easy, but it gives a student a chance to respond right at that moment and you can both proceed.

You can also look at a student’s body language and ask what they mean by their posture, facial expression, etc.

“Hey, your brow is furrowed and your arms are crossed. Do you want to talk about that?”

It’s not attacking them; it’s an observation that gives them a chance to respond. They may not even realize they’re doing it!

Lastly, you can give a student a chance to sort out their feelings over time. You can text them the next day and say, “Hey, how are you feeling about our conversation yesterday/last week?”

For a lot of our students, this might give them the chance to process what they are feeling and why they feel that way.

Again, when leading your leaders, you can help them realize that some students will have feelings they don’t have any control over. They can tweak what they say and make sure students hear what they mean, and still students may have a negative feeling about what was said.

It’s a good reminder

You’ll keep dancing with this partner for a long time. We’ll all forget about one of these things from time to time. When you are reminded, however, remember that we get to communicate the wonderful truth of God’s love to both our students and our leaders.

Let’s communicate well!

Ronald

With COVID shutdowns at the end of the year, many of us are quickly finding ourselves needing to do our Christmas Party programming online. A few amazing youth workers (Isaac Leimeister, Samantha McEnhimer, Angel Myers, Rob Monroe, Jason Rysdyk, Richard Ball, and David Paukovitz) and I got together for a think tank to discuss how we would tackle this issue for own ministries. Let me tell you, the results were pure genius!

Icebreakers & Games 

What would a party be without a few simple and silly games? While everybody has different ideas on what to play, we all agree that variety in how people can play is very important. There are some kids who may not have fast internet or who aren’t good typers, and if they are constantly losing to someone who is quicker, you’ve got a Grinch on your hands. We suggest you use one medium of interacting no more than once to keep the playing field even. 

• First to Bring it to the Camera: This one was a winner for many group meetings at the beginning of the year, and it still works. With all the holiday decorations and goodies around it should be an easily exciting addition to your party. “Home Hunt” is a ready-made version of this type of game that gets everyone involved and moving – and now there’s a Home Hunt Christmas Edition!

• Kahoot!: Everybody uses their phones as a remote control, and points are rewarded and tracked by the website. This rewards players in the long run as well for knowledge over speed. We created a free game for you to use here. 
• Snap Share: Give students time to be creative in a competition by asking them ahead of your event to send you some pictures of holiday hijinks. Hold contests of dressing up like famous Christmas characters, using filters, or making ornaments or gingerbread houses out of Ramen. Share your favorites on the live Zoom/stream and give a reward. 
• Type-in-the-Chat Games: These are the kind you can buy, are really clever, and are a simple drag-and-drop into your presentation software. They will be winners, but like we said before…make it fair. I would suggest when doing this format to also limit people to only being able to answer correctly twice. Then after you have finished, put everyone who got a correct answer into a drawing for a prize. This helps keep someone from dominating and also gives the kid with a slower connection an equal chance of winning. “Caption Challenge Christmas Edition” and “You’ve Heard of Elf on the Shelf” are screen games that translate well online with students typing in their answers in the chat.

• All-Play Active Crowd Games: These games can get everyone involved in person AND online (like Home Hunt mentioned above) – just watch everyone’s screen for the winner.
  • Crowd Charades: Who doesn’t laugh when you play charades? In Crowd Charades, the entire audience acts out the word, and one person guesses.
  • First to Ten: An easy, play-it-anywhere kind of game that translates well to an online program. It’s a reverse version of the classic youth ministry game “Sit-Down-If.” Here’s how it works: a qualifier shows up on the screen. If it’s true for participants, they, put a finger up. The first person to get 10 (long version) or 5 (short version) wins. You can find First to Ten Christmas right here!

The Big Enchilada (AKA the Main Event) 

You probably want to have a major hook that you can be hyping up on your social media prior to this event. 

• Secret Santa: This will probably work best in smaller groups, but can make a neat substitution for those who would normally do an exchange game if meeting in person. Get a bunch of flat rate envelopes and pre-pay the postage on them, fill in the “send to” fields with the addresses of kids in your youth group, then drop them off to random members of the group. Tell them to leave the “from” section of the envelope blank and to put something in there to pass along to their fellow students (it can be sincere or totally random). Be sure to stress that they need to get it in the mail by a certain date in order to be received before your party, and that when they receive theirs they must wait until the party so it can be opened on stream/zoom in order for everyone to see the reactions.
  
• Escape Room/Online Scavenger Hunts: If you have seen the resources for some of these they are simply amazing…DYM has now published a Christmas Digital Escape Room!After playing this myself, this might be the most amazing product in the history of DYM!!!! Seriously. I can’t believe how big and awesome this was! Worth.The.Price! Had a ton of fun doing this with my kids against other youth workers. You will be blessed using this in any kind of way in your church/ministry!

  

• Game Show: You can keep it simple with a bunch of smaller things, but tie it together in a big way! Have 6 to 12 gifts in the background of your broadcast, all wrapped in the same size box but with different wrapping papers. Tell your kids that they each contain unique and fantastic gifts (ranging from a pair of old socks to a 12-pack of Holiday Mt. Dew, and the big one a $50 gift card/free winter camp registration/whatever). Then each time a youth wins a game, let them pick one to have it delivered to their house. Added excitement will be having them tag you/share it on social media the next day when it arrives!

Speaking of Game Show style… this is hot off the press:

This beauty is a sixty-minute, done-for-you, ONLINE Christmas Trivia Party that will pit students and leaders against each other with Christmas-themed questions and is designed for use online. This event is intended to encourage small groups to grow closer together and work together throughout the event. There are three rounds of trivia questions students will have to answer. To make the evening even more engaging, there are fun Zoom games in between trivia rounds, as well as some other interactive elements during the night. This is perfect for anyone looking for a low-preparation, ready-to-go event with everything you need to have an excellent Christmas party this season online!

A Meaningful Word

If this is when kids are tempted to turn off the camera and check their Insta, consider these creative ways to engage your students with life-giving encouragement about Jesus: 

• The Phone-In: Quite possibly what will keep kids most engaged is for you to shut up and put another kid in control! In the weeks prior, reach out to some students and ask them to record a 90-second video for you about what Christmas means to them and/or share a piece of the Christmas story. Sprinkle these in between the games in your party and you just hacked their little attention-deficit minds!
• The “What Is This?” Some of our youth workers are planning on maximizing the value of a real handwritten Christmas card this year by mailing something special to students. Along with the invite to the online party is something that they are going to share during the stream. It may be a cryptic and mysterious thing that has a hidden and yet unknown meaning. It may be an Advent devotion they are inviting students to participate in. But by making a physical connection for digital viewers, it will hold a far better chance of being something students won’t be tuning out.
• Video: Especially for Gen Z, using media is a great way to engage. From poignant music videos to funny skits, there are tons of choices out there. Just be sure that you adhere to copyright requests and not leave them up on your YouTube channel permanently. 

We hope these ideas can help you feel confident as you plan your Christmas Party online. In this crazy season and year, lean on fellow youth workers for support  – no one has to go it alone!

God bless your ministry this Christmas season! 

Kyle Creel is the Next Generation Pastor for the River’s Edge Church in Iowa Falls, Iowa, a DYM Author, Co-Host of “The Small Town Youth Ministry Podcast”, and an all-around nerd.

“I want to see youth workers reach teenagers, and do so feeling equipped and encouraged. Feel free to contact me if you ever want to collaborate or have questions about any resources!”

The holidays are a crazy time in the church. If we are not careful, we will find ourselves hating the Christmas season because we get burnt out and our tanks go empty. We all have special events, Christmas parties, special services, decorating the foyer, and making sure we have enough candles. Resentment builds up, and we are left feeling more like a Scrooge instead of a Griswold. 

On the other hand, as a leader in ministry, we should want to make much of this season to draw people in to experience Jesus. The holidays are a special time when people’s hearts are softened to experience the Gospel. Traditions and Christmas rhythms should be important to everyone involved in the church, especially us as leaders. 

Here’s the thing: As a leader, we must protect ourselves, our families, and the ones we love during Christmas. Here are four ways that ministry leaders can survive the holiday season. 

1. Check out when it’s time to check out.

Everyone takes a vacation or “holiday” during Christmas break. You will have days when the church is shut down. You will have days when you ask for time away, but if you don’t, you need to. When you do getaway, make sure you are truly getting away—check out, disconnect, spend time with family, and make each moment intentional and purposeful. YES, this means your emails and text messages can wait until it’s time to check back in. 

2. Take care of your people.

If you supervise others, make sure you make them take time away. Next time you have a meeting, have everyone go around and share when they are taking off, what they plan to do and hold them to it. Make your people disconnect and spend time with family. Another way to love them, if your church allows, is by giving them a Christmas bonus. This is a huge way to invest in the long term.  Work hard, do things with excellence, but make sure you play hard, too. 

3. Set up boundaries.

Establish a line between family time and ministry time. The lines seem to blur during the holidays. If you get a phone call or email while you are spending time with family, please choose your family. Set up auto-replies on your email and don’t be afraid to tell people, “I’m away right now, I’ll get back to you in a few days.” 

4. Spend time with the Lord.

During the holidays, we are consistently encouraging our people to spend time with the Lord, to rest in Him during this season. You must practice what you preach. How are you spending personal time in prayer? How are you personally spending time in God’s word? When you work on your heart, you will have so much more to pour out to your family and to your ministry. 

Lastly, every “yes” is a “no” to something. Please do NOT say “no” to your family. 

Merry Christmas! 

Bobby Cooley is a Discipleship Pastor in Katy, TX. He loves pouring into the next generation and their parents to build lifelong followers of Jesus.

He loves his wife and three blue-eyed kids, great BBQ, and the outdoors.

“I love being a part of DYM and helping youth workers win!” – BC

Check out his DYM resources here! 

In 18 years of student ministry, I’ve never had to learn and adjust so much in one calendar year than I have in 2020…I’m guessing that’s true for everyone reading this post!

And with the Christmas season approaching, I’m sure that most of us can put the next two months in the “well, we’ve never done it like this before, but let’s give it a try and see how it goes” category.

Like most ministries, we’ve always taken a two or three-week break from gathering over Christmas as a chance to give our volunteers rest, to honor families celebrating the holidays together, and to get a break from the hectic ministry pace as a staff. But a couple COVID factors have forced us to rethink how we handle the time between Thanksgiving and mid-January.

First of all, as a college town and a church with a thriving college ministry, we have a bunch of college volunteers and interns. Well, because of COVID, they’re all ending the semester next week and won’t be back until mid-January.

Second, with families traveling over Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, we felt it was wise not to gather for two weeks after Thanksgiving and then two weeks after New Years’.

What that’s created is a “gathering desert” that is forcing us (in a really good way) to rethink how we handle December and January. What I’ve told my staff is that not hosting gatherings doesn’t mean our ministry doesn’t continue…we just have to get creative!

So here’s what we’re doing:

First, we are going to host one gathering in the window between Thanksgiving and Christmas. On December 13th we’re going to have a masked/socially-distant night of worship (and hot chocolate afterward outside, of course) for our ministries combined (high school and middle school together) in our main auditorium. Luckily it’s large enough for us to gather safely and give our leaders and students one more chance to be together in person before the new year.

Second, we are putting a much bigger emphasis on challenging our students to grow on their own and giving them tools to do that. This is something our ministry hasn’t usually emphasized as much, but COVID has really challenged our team to think about how we can mobilize students and their families to take steps toward spiritual growth without relying completely on the gathering! The first tool we’re giving them is one available on DYM, Sabrina Hadro’s 25-Day Advent Devotional, which focuses on hope. It’s FANTASTIC, and with a bit of tweaking by our team to make it fit our context (and make it as COVID-friendly as possible) as well as creating a layout so that we can print it out as an actual booklet (yay for printers that fold and staple booklets for us), we’ve created something we can physically put in students’ hands that they can use to really grow closer to God on their own (with the support of their small group leaders). We’re also making it available digitally so they can print it out (if they weren’t with us in person to get it or—let’s be real—lost it).

Microsoft Word Booklet Layout

Apple Pages Booklet Layout

Printing Instructions

Another way we’re challenging them (and their parents) to grow on their own is by providing a 4-week family devotional—something that parents and students can do together to have spiritual conversations in the home. LeaderTreks has created a GREAT resource to do this exact thing: Advent at Home. It’s four weeks of scripture-centered conversation; each week is about a different “Christmas” word: hope, joy, peace, and love. Now, for many of the parents in our ministry, it’s going to be a bit intimidating (each week is 4 pages of content…I’m even intimidated by it), so we’re going to film a quick “disclaimer” video letting them know that they don’t have to do the WHOLE THING to be effective…just use it as a tool to do SOMETHING…to initiate spiritual conversation. We think it will be a HUGE win for any family that chooses to use it at home.

In addition to these couple of things, we’re obviously going to engage our students with our Instagram accounts…both fun things (like challenges, stories, and posts) as well as spiritual (focusing weekly on one or two of the devotional topics from Sabrina’ devos). Plus, we’ve got a great ice skating rink in town we plan to rent out twice in January (once for high school and once for middle school) before our college leaders come back and we can resume “normal gathering,” whatever that means.

It’s not a ton, but it’s definitely more than we would have typically done in December if we would have been gathering like usual.

Hope this helps you as you look to program differently in this upcoming season. Would love to hear what you’re doing in the comments below!

Brett Eddy is the Student Ministry Director at Port City Community Church in Wilmington, NC and has been serving there for more than 17 years. He loves pouring into volunteers and staff, casting vision for the ministry, and communicating with students on stage. He and his wife, Corina, have 3 kids and love living in the coastal Carolinas!