You’ve trained your team.
You’ve clarified expectations using the Diamond Strategy.
You’ve even started looking for the block when things go sideways.

But now what?

How do you actually have the conversation when a volunteer drops the ball?

Let’s be real—most youth pastors either:

  • A) Avoid it and hope it doesn’t happen again 🙈

  • B) Come in too hot and make things weird 😬

  • C) Let it build up until there’s a dramatic team shake-up 🔥

There’s a better way: Coach with the Diamond.

💎 Use the Diamond as a Check-In Tool

If a volunteer doesn’t follow through, pull out the Diamond—figuratively or literally—and walk through it with them.

Try something like:

“Hey, I noticed [task] didn’t get done. Can we walk through the Diamond together real quick? I just want to make sure you had everything you needed.”

This puts the conversation on the process, not their personality.

🔍 Start with Curiosity, Not Criticism

Here’s what a Diamond Coaching conversation might sound like:

  • What – “Was it clear what the task actually was?”

  • Why – “Did it feel like the task mattered?”

  • When – “Was the timeline realistic for you?”

  • How – “Did you feel equipped to pull it off?”

  • Block – “Was there anything that got in the way?”

When you ask these five questions, you’re not interrogating—you’re inviting clarity and care.

📣 Phrases That Work

Sometimes it’s less about the process and more about how you say it. Try these:

  • “Let’s troubleshoot it together.”

  • “I want to set you up to win.”

  • “I care more about you than the task.”

  • “You’re not in trouble—I just want to make sure you’re good.”

  • “This isn’t a guilt thing—it’s a growth thing.”

✅ Accountability Builds Trust (Not Tension)

Too often, leaders are afraid that addressing failure will scare off volunteers.

But here’s the truth: a lack of follow-up communicates that you don’t care—about the person, the role, or the ministry.

When done right, accountability:

  • Shows you’re paying attention

  • Reinforces team culture

  • Increases ownership and commitment

  • Builds trust over time

🧠 A Real Story from the Trenches:

I had a guy who totally forgot to lead his game two weeks in a row.

Instead of roasting him or ghosting him, I just said,
“Hey—can I ask if that task was clear? Did something get in the way?”

Turns out, he was overcommitted with his job and had been afraid to step back.

We reshuffled his role, and he’s still one of my strongest leaders—because I chose a conversation over a confrontation.

Final Thought:

You don’t need to choose between being the Nice Pastor or the Boss Pastor.

You can be the kind of leader who clears the path, coaches the team, and checks in with grace.

Use the Diamond. Talk it through. Build the team you’ve always wanted—one honest, growth-focused conversation at a time.