Marriage requires work and when you add the constant demands and emotions of ministry into a marriage it’s a wild ride. This week I’m passing on some simple actions I’ve stumbled into that have helped Cathy and I thrive in ministry and marriage. Yesterday I wrote about giving Cathy veto power over all ministry and calendar decisions, and today I’ve written a brief post about being a cheerleader.
One of the actions that I’ve taken in ministry is being a verbal cheerleader of my wife. Anyone who has ever heard me speak knows that I always tell “Cathy is wonderful” stories. First off, it’s easy to sing her praises because it’s true. Secondly, I want people in and around my ministry to know my wife’s character, her skills and her ministry. Over the years I’ve discovered that there’s a lot of people who know about me, clap for me, want me to help them, seek me out, affirm me, know me, appreciate me, and put me on a pedestal. It could be very easy for Cathy to get lost in all the “Doug/me”. Both you and I know that we don’t want our spouse living in our shadow.
Doing this is as easy as it sounds. Brag about your spouse. Put your spouse in a positive light in your stories. Share the credit for any occasional affirmation you receive. Talk highly about him/her behind your back. Regardless of your spouse’s involvement, ministry is a partnership. In my case, Cathy rarely ever teaches, but she hears all my messages before I teach them. She’s never written a book, but her fingerprint and edits are on every page. She doesn’t have her own URL, but she does support everything I do that’s represented on this page. Bottom line, without Cathy Fields, there is no Doug Fields’ ministry. My guess is that it’s the same with you. So, make it known.
Here’s your chance to start the bragging…tell me about your wonderful spouse!