Lark News has some funny updates this month, my favorite being the church growth measured by total weight article. Here’s a clip:

Grace Valley Baptist church has been losing a dozen members per year. But according to a recent measure, the church is expanding 7 percent annually. The reason: They now measure attendance by weight rather than per person.

“We may be shrinking numerically, but in sheer mass we’re growing fast,” says pastor Sam Winter.

And don’t forget about the flannelgraph-asbestos lawsuit, too.