As we hit the typical time to talk sex, dating, and relationships for youth ministry, there are a couple of good things to keep in mind when it comes to addressing these topics, both with students and with parents.

As a 16-year YM veteran, let me help you navigate this delicate topic better. We can avoid easy missteps, but at the same time go over and above in clarity and communication with parents about topics that are important to talk about in culture. We can also set up parents well.

For context, last year we did a series called SEX, BUT MAKE IT HOLY (you can watch it HERE) where we dove into dating, friendships, homosexuality, gender identity, porn, and why God cares about my sex life. These were pretty big topics and we wanted to ensure we set up parents well to let them know what we were diving into.

So below are what things we did AND a bunch of emails we sent out to leaders and parents. I hope these are things to keep in mind so that if/when you address hot topics, you can succeed. I can say we had ZERO major concerns or negative reactions from parents that got to me. Issues were addressed at a campus level because we were able to communicate in advance.

Things we kept in mind:

  • All teaching notes were written word for word for each topic and completed and turned in two weeks before the series started.
  • We had pastors on staff read through each lesson and check it theologically according to our church’s theology.
  • We had all the small group questions written and done two weeks before the series started.
  • We sent the content to all leaders and all parents two weeks before the series started so they could read through it beforehand and be prepared.
  • We sent it to all our campus pastors so they could view it and be prepped, because we knew parents would go to the boss man first and we didn’t want to catch them by surprise.
  • We sent the communication plan and content to our executive pastor and solicited his input and advice beforehand, so he was also in the know.

Lots of things to prep for this one series, but I can tell you it went a long way with our leadership, with our leaders who would be navigating through the content with groups, and with parents. Parents knew what we were talking about so they could be prepped for conversations as well.

Below are email communications you can copy and paste for your ministry if you find them helpful.

Email to youth leaders:

Hey leaders!

I wanted to shoot you an email about an upcoming series that SCY will be going through starting mid-March. The series is called “Sex, But Make It Holy,” starting on March 23rd. 

We will be diving into: 

  • Sex
  • Porn
  • Dating
  • Homosexuality
  • Gender

I know, but this is something MANY of our students are talking about. They know people who struggle with these issues, or they themselves are wondering about what this looks like while attending church. We know that probably even for some of your students in the groups you lead weekly, these are things that are being brought up frequently. I believe the church should be one of the safest places to talk about some of the toughest things. 

Our goal is to teach our students what Scripture says about these particular topics in a loving way. We want to engage and challenge our students to what Scripture has to say about these hot, but cultural topics for Gen Z. 

What does this mean for YOU?

We wanted to shoot you the package of all the teaching notes and small group material, because we want you to be as prepared as possible. We want you to know what is coming and start praying for conversations that are going to come from this. We understand that there might be different beliefs even amongst our leaders, but we want to let you know what is coming so we can create a unified front from a Sandals Church Youth perspective. These topics in our culture are already divisive, and the last thing we want is to bring that here. We want to create a SAFE space for students to wrestle with and talk through these topics in regard to their faith. 

We care about students taking a step closer to Jesus. We care for students who attend on Wednesdays, even if we disagree with them and they with us. 

We want to love them not just by words, but by how we interact and engage with them. So we want to set you up the best way possible. 

In the package you have:

  • All teaching notes for the series
  • Separate middle school questions and high school questions for this series 
  • A calendar of when the series is happening and the topics broken up by weeks. 
    • Keep in mind we might make minor adjustments as we get closer. The main themes should be the same, but wording might change a bit. 

Small group questions will be sent out as previews as soon as we finish them. 

Again, we want the church to be one of the safest places for our students to talk about anything regarding faith and struggles. Our hope and prayer is that students can get real about these things,  really be challenged and develop their faith by what Scripture says, and learn how they can respond in faith to what our culture says. 

If you have any questions, please let me know. I would love to help you be set up at your campus for this series. 

Your name

Email To Parents:

Hello parents!

I wanted to shoot you an email about an upcoming series that SCY will be going through starting mid-March. The series is called “Sex, But Make It Holy” and it begins March 23rd. 

We will be diving into:

  • Sex
  • Porn
  • Dating
  • Homosexuality
  • Gender

These are topics we know are talked about often, not only in our culture but amongst many of our students. Because of this, we believe the church should be one of the safest places to talk about some of the toughest things. 

Our goal is to teach our students what Scripture says about these particular topics in a loving way. We want to engage, and challenge our students to engage, about these hot cultural topics for Gen Z, and how it relates to their faith. As we teach students, our goal is to partner with you on how to have these conversations with your students as well. 

We wanted to give you all the content for this series way up front, so you can take a look at what we will be going through on Wednesdays in March and April, along with the small group questions we will be discussing. 

We understand the nature of these topics and that you might prefer to hold your child back from this series, or parts of it. This is why we are providing you with the content in advance. If we can be a resource to you in your conversations with your child on these topics, please let us know.

In the package you have:

  • All teaching notes for the series
  • Separate middle school questions and high school questions for this series 
  • A calendar of when the series is happening and the topics broken up by weeks. 
    • Keep in mind we might make minor adjustments as we get closer. The main themes should stay the same, though wording might change a bit. 

Small group questions will be sent out as previews as soon as we finish them. We at least wanted to get the teaching content out to you as soon as possible. 

Again, we want the church to be one of the safest places for our students to talk about anything regarding faith and struggles. Our hope and prayer is that students can get real about these things,  really be challenged and develop their faith by what Scripture says, and learn how they can respond in faith to what our culture says. 

If you have any questions about this, I would love to chat with you about it. Please let me know. I want to make myself available to you. 

Justin Knowles

Need a series on sex and dating? Check out this killer resource on DYM!

There are several key topics we need to walk through with students on a regular basis. One such topic is challenging students to navigate relationships and sexuality in a way that honors God. The reality is that the world around us is presenting (and even promoting) a message that you are defined by your relational and sexual pursuits. It’s something we HAVE TO be talking about at home and in the church. God, Guys & Girls is a four-week series that does just that.