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8 Jun 2017

5 Things Students NEED To Know From Their Leaders

By Justin Knowles|2017-06-08T07:58:28-07:00June 8th, 2017|Leadership, Small Groups|1 Comment

When it comes down to it, most of what we do is about relationships with students. In order to help students from one step of their faith to another, students need to know certain things about their leaders. Now when I say leader it can be many things: Pastor, mentor, small group leader etc.

They need to know that:

They Are Loved – Obvious right? But you would be surprised at how many students genuinely do not feel any sort of love from anybody. We as leaders need to make sure the students we minister go out of our way to make sure our students are feeling loved, not only by the staff and volunteers, but to help them understand they are loved by an incredible God.

They Are Known – One of the most important things a teenager has is their name. The fact that they can be greeted by their name is already a huge win. I am awful with names of new students. Awful. So I have to try really hard. (The Course 101 Training from DYM University is great on this BTW) But when I remember a name of a student who I met the week before you can see it in their face that they are happy that they are known. For guys in my small group, they are known. I know about things going on in their lives and I am intentional with making sure I ask questions about what is happening.

They Are Safe – Students need to know they are safe. Chances are if students are not able to talk to you because they do not feel safe they are not talking to anyone else about it either. You might say it from the stage, “Hey, we are here for you all, come talk to us.” But if they do not really KNOW they can, they probably wont. Going out of your way to ask them eye-to-eye, “Hey, how are you. Really” Let’s them know you really do care and that you can be trusted to talk to.

You Are Consistent – Because where students are developmentally, they cannot handle and process change really well. That is why meeting every week during the year is such a comforting thing for students. The fact that we are consistent in a constantly changing (they are changing, their world is changing, developmentally they are changing, etc.) life and world is huge to students. They need to know that you are going to be consistent.

You Are Not Judgmental – How we react to students when they tell us something because they trusted us… is huge. If they believe you are judgmental, good luck in having them come to you again with something they are struggling with. We are not to judge them but be there for them. Listen to them, ask them a ton of questions, speak truth in to their life but do it with grace. We have all messed up in our lives as well.

@justinknowles3

7 Jun 2017

Why you should call on introverts first

By Jen Bradbury|2017-06-07T05:47:28-07:00June 7th, 2017|Small Groups, Teaching|0 Comments

At a recent event, I noticed a student sitting quietly off to the side, seemingly disengaged from her peers and the teaching. Her youth worker noticed too but chalked her disengagement up to the fact that she was an introvert and decided to just let her be.

During a large group discussion later that day, the youth worker asked a question and the introvert’s hand shot up, eager to answer it. Unfortunately, several other students’ hands went up at the same time.

The youth worker, not used to having the introvert participate, failed to notice her and instead called on the hand of a student he knew better. He then proceeded clockwise around the table from there, attentively listening to each student share their response.

As each student shared, the introvert’s hand got a little lower. She lost confidence in her response until finally, by the time the youth worker reached her side of the table, her hand was no longer raised.

By not noticing this student and inviting her to participate immediately, this youth worker missed the opportunity to engage her. Her peers missed the opportunity to hear her unique perspective.

It can be tempting to not pay any attention to the order in which you call on students, to think that the order doesn’t really matter. It might even seem to make sense to call on students in the order in which they raise their hand. Or to start with someone you know well and proceed in an orderly direction from there.

However, when you do that, you risk making the same mistake this youth worker did: You miss inadvertently ignoring the introverts in your group.

As people who recharge from being alone, introverts won’t fight to have their voices heard. They won’t repeat something that’s already been said. They won’t draw attention to themselves to ensure that you notice them.

Instead, they’ll quietly raise their hand and if you miss it, there’s a good chance they’ll put it down as soon as someone else says something similar to what they were planning on saying.

So, when you’re leading a discussion, keep your eyes peeled. Notice who’s participating and who isn’t.

When an introvert (or a reluctant participant) finally raises their hand, stop what you’re doing and call on them.

Doing so shows you’re paying attention. It shows there’s room in the conversation for their voice. What’s more, it communicates their voice matters to the group.

When you call on an introvert first, affirm what they say. Doing so gives them confidence and makes them more likely to participate in the future, to continue to add their voice to the conversation.

When this happens, you’ll start to see that introverts are typically not unengaged in what you’re doing. They’re listening with rapt attention and waiting for the chance to contribute.

Don’t miss out on giving them that chance.

22 Mar 2017

Nothing Beats A Personal Invite

By Justin Knowles|2017-03-22T08:42:49-07:00March 22nd, 2017|Leadership, Small Groups, Youth Pastor Life|0 Comments

Two of the most commonly asked questions when it comes to recruiting leaders:

What do you feel your biggest need is?
How do you recruit small group leaders?

I feel the first one is easy. Biggest need? Probably like many churches, volunteers. We need people to lead groups. The second question however is a lot tougher. If you happen to know, please let me know. How do you make sure you don’t get just anybody but make sure to get quality, teachable, adults who have a heart for teenagers? Great question.

I feel like we have done an announcement in the bulletin. We have made announcement videos for the main weekend services. We have sent out emails to the church. We have talked to our college ministry. All of which we would maybe get a few good candidates out of all of those. Surprisingly the best way I have seen and have done is pretty simple.

Nothing beats a personal invite.

No one told me at the beginning of my youth ministry career that I would have to have the same qualifications as a college football recruiter. When you meet people around the church, look for people who you feel would be great to volunteer and simply just ask them if they ever considered leading a group. If they have, then you got them. If not, you at least got them thinking about it and then follow-up.

Also, send your leaders out into the world and have them each talk to two friends they think would be a great group leader. You will be surprised a how many more quality hits you get from a bulletin announcement.

When someone is asked personally, it means you see something good in them. They feel valued. They feel like they can make a difference and you think they can as well. That’s powerful. Some of the greatest leaders are the ones you would never expect. The ones you would never have known about unless you or another leader saw something in them and planted a personal invite to get them thinking about it.

Get asking.

@justinknowles3

22 Feb 2017

4 Roadblocks To Small Group Growth

By Justin Knowles|2017-02-22T08:57:56-08:00February 22nd, 2017|Leadership, Small Groups|1 Comment

We are getting ready to re-vamp and re-launch our groups. I really do love small groups and I really love leading them and leading them well. I believe they are the backbone to any ministry. I had a conversation with a few leaders a couple of weeks ago about things that keep groups from growing. Here are the top 4:

Focusing on knowledge. Wait what? Isn’t that what a small group Bible study is for? To learn? Yes, but what good is knowledge if there is no application in one’s life? Paul says, “Knowledge puffs up but love builds up”. How does a group love? One of the biggest ways for your group to grow is to serve with them. Watch them grow when they are getting out of the circle and into the community. In James it says not to just listen to God’s word but to go do what it says. Growing groups serve others.

Forget Jesus is there. Sounds pretty elementary right? A non-growing group does it’s own thing. Maybe there is only focus on fun rather than actually sitting down and going through a study. A growing group remember that when two or more gather in His name, He is present. They know Jesus has power and that through conversation is where student’s faith is stretched as they wrestle with certain topics. They go through the curriculum provided by the ministry. They pray together.

You talk too much. Some leaders love to hear themselves teach. The only problem is, sometimes the students don’t. Small group is not the time to preach a sermon for 20 minutes to students. There is a time for this and it’s called midweek.weekend service. Growing small groups are a place where the leader is a discussion facilitator not a preacher. Are there teaching moments? Of course. But growing groups have leaders who will know how to ask great questions and get students to think critically about their faith and help walk them through their thought process.

Why so serious? No one wants to come to a boring group. Especially students. Studying is great. Talking about faith is great. Bible discussion is great. But I see growing groups have fun! They don’t only talk about things of faith but things that are going on in their lives. They go see movies together, go eat together after youth group, they go play ninja tag in a park late at night. I love fun. Our jobs are fun so small groups should be fun too because even though you are having fun, some of the best conversations come out of having fun because having fun breaks down walls and barriers. Don’t be all business, go have fun with your group and see it grow.

What else do you think keep small groups from growing? What would you add?

@Justinknowles3

8 Feb 2017

GUEST POST: Building Authentic Community in Small Groups

By Josh Griffin|2017-02-08T23:31:43-08:00February 8th, 2017|Small Groups|1 Comment

Is there anything more relational yet difficult than a small group? Maybe for some of you, your small group is a close knit group, or maybe you’re like most small groups and it feels like you’re pulling teeth to get students to talk. Let’s face it, small groups can be awkward sometimes.

So it’s no secret that small groups can be awkward at times. Maybe your group looks like this: So what did you think of Pastor Matt’s message tonight? *blank stares* Let me put you at ease though, because I’ve talked with youth workers across the nation, and that’s how small groups look like for most of them. It’s normal for teenagers to try and stay in their own corner and not invest. Why? Because students are not used to authentic community.

Community is a group of people that are willing to get into the lives other people. The goal of small groups should always be about building community. Your job as small group leaders is not to reteach the message, and you shouldn’t feel that burden. Your goal for your small group should be to get every student talking in an effort to strengthen your relationship with your few. So how do we do that? Well I want to give you three concepts to remember that will help you build stronger communities and closer small groups.

It Takes Small Steps to Build Community
It takes time to build authentic community. I want you to think of your time with your small group like building a house one brick at a time. Every week you get around 20min to an hour with your group, so it doesn’t feel like you get a whole lot of time to build relationships. You’ll be tempted to judge the progress by looking at the one brick you built the house with.

But I want to challenge you to look at it with the past and future in mind. Look how far you’ve taken your group in the past year. See the rows of bricks that you’ve laid down, and that one brick will turn into a wall. Look at all the opportunities in the future you get to have with your group and you can see the potential for what you get to build with them.

This is so important because you can focus on that one Sunday or Wednesday you spent with your group, and you can start feeling like you’re not making a difference. Believe me! I’ve been there. But you need to remind yourself that authentic community takes time, you need to look at where you’ve taken your group and the potential relationships you get to build. Learn to gain this perspective, and it will make a better leader out of you, and it will help you battle those frustrating moments.

Invest to Get Them Invested
Have you ever been frustrated wishing your group would be more invested in the group? Maybe you asked a question and the whole group collectively stared at their feet and gave no response. If you want your group to be invested in small group, you have to make the first move in investing in their lives. I’m not talking about using that small amount of time you get with the whole group, I mean finding time outside of group.

Maybe its spending time with your group in the down time before service starts or playing a game with them after small group. How you spend that time is crucial to leading your small group toward community. Most adults will clump together and talk to other adults in the down time. Don’t do that. Hang out with your students. It might not be the whole group, but find some of your group and get involved with what they’re doing.

You can even take this further by hanging out with your group outside of church. If one of your student’s has a game or concert coming up, invite the whole group to go with you and support them. Or plan your own event, with your leader’s permission. Maybe it’s your group serving together or doing something fun like paintball or painting mugs at a local pottery place. This is what community is supposed to look like, doing life together outside of a church program. But remember, if you want to get your group invested, you have to make the first move. Your students will invest half of what you’re investing. If you aren’t investing in them outside of your small group time, don’t be surprised if they aren’t willing to either.

Community is built one brick at a time, so when you find more opportunities to get in their lives, you can increase those bricks by 2 or 3.

Community Takes Consistency
The last concept I want to give you is the power of consistency. To a teenager, consistency means everything. When you show up in their lives every week, it means the world to them. The more consistent you are with showing up in their life; the more powerful your influence becomes.

I understand that life gets hectic and there will be times where you don’t want to show up for your group. But show up. These students have a ton of people that check in and check out of their lives. A great small group leader is a leader that shows up every week. You can’t expect your group to grow relationally if you aren’t there consistently.

For a teenager, consistency equals safety. When an adult can care for them and be consistent with that care, then that teenager will be more likely to open up and be vulnerable. If you’re a leader that’s been showing up every other week, I would encourage you to show up more. It may not seem like it, but you presence is missed in these student’s lives, and the group suffers when you’re not there.

Consistency goes beyond just showing up. How are you being consistent in other areas? Are you consistently hanging out with your group in the down time? Are you consistently checking up on them throughout the week? The more consistent you are, the more buy-in you’ll get from your group.

GUEST POST by Sam Petterson: youth pastor and DYM Author of some incredible youth ministry resources here on the site.

26 Jan 2017

Tales from the Small Group

By Josh Griffin|2017-01-26T13:02:06-08:00January 26th, 2017|Leadership, Small Groups, Youth Pastor Life|0 Comments

I offered to just buy the coffee table from the host home family.

Why, you ask? Because one of the small group members managed to discreetly carve his initials in it during our short stay in their home that night. When we went for snacks, he went to town.

We needed small group volunteers so desperately I asked the senior pastor to work it into his message. Do you know how many new volunteers we got that Sunday? One. But after the background check … zero.

There’s “that one kid” in my youth group, sometimes I think I have a whole youth group full of them. That one kid who constantly farts during prayer. Giggles every time there’s even something with the least bit of junior high innuendo. Constantly redirects each conversation to his sick cat. When it comes time for prayer requests forgets to mention his cat.

I love to run milk and cookies to each small group at least once a year. Just a little drop in surprise to encourage the home and give them a little treat. It was so fun and everyone loved it! Until a bunch of the kids got sick because I hadn’t factored in the lactose free, gluten free crowd. Next year, I’m just bringing everyone a box of raisins.

The video clip we used from Tommy Boy was debatable in the first place, I’ll give you that. But when the intern that trimmed the footage accidentally let it go too long, our students were introduced to some new words their parents weren’t excited for them to learn. Is resignation with one “s” or two?

One of our small group leaders who was in college thought it would be fun to take some boudoir pictures. If you don’t know what boudoir pictures are … don’t Google it! Just know that if one of your 20-something volunteers thinks it is OK to do that, and posts them on Instagram, then they probably shouldn’t be volunteering in your youth ministry.

Small groups are messy. Any time you get in the mess with students some of that mess is going to get on you. But they’re SO worth it. So this week, as you serve students in small groups … as you sand down the coffee table or write an apology letter for that video clip, as you scour the store shelves for cookies that taste like tree bark and almond milk, as you do your best to recruit and train qualified volunteers … know they are worth it. That life change happens there on a weekly basis. That these students have no idea just how good they have it.

Serve your small groups faithfully this week. They are SO worth it.

And Lord, please help that one kid’s cat to feel better. Amen.

This article originally appeared in the January 2017 edition of Youth Worker Journal edition. Check them out here.