GUEST POST BY RONALD LONG
I am not athletic by choice.
The only reason I got into running was that there was this really cute girl on the college cross-country team I wanted to spend time with.
I was not a runner and that first “Hey, can I go on a run with you?” did not end well.
But I kept up and eventually married that runner.
My wife and I are a little different than most couples where one is in ministry and the other isn’t. At first, my wife volunteered a lot. We lived in a small town and there wasn’t much else to do! But then we had our first child, then our second, and life changed a lot for us. We came to the conclusion that in that season of life, she could serve me best by being where the kids were.
Fast forward six years and we’ve moved to a much bigger city, had another kid, and she’s started a job of her own. Now we’re in a different season again. And she’s still not a volunteer for my ministry.
Instead of her always serving me and my role as a pastor, I now get the privilege of serving her. My job hasn’t changed. I’m still a middle school pastor with Wednesday night craziness and Sunday morning rhythm, but now she has her own rhyme with work as well.
So that means on top of figuring out what happens with our girls on Wednesday nights, we also have a family evening on Thursdays when I take (and try to survive) her cycle class. It means I put our kids in bed two times a week when she’s working “prime time” at the gym and finishing up her responsibilities there. It means I go and partake in a competition on a Saturday every now and then. It also means I know the difference between RPM, watts, where my lats are and how to activate my quads when I ride.
This isn’t stuff I would normally be pumped about. But because my wife comes alive when she exercises and because she loves her job, I get involved. It’s the same reason I went running with her in college. I love her. So I want to be involved with what she loves.
What does this look like for you and your spouse?
Do you know who they work with and what their big project is right now? Are you “in the know” when it comes to the big parts of their job? If they aren’t “working”, do you have a pulse on their favorite hobbies and pastimes and ask to be involved with them?
Normally, we hear how often a spouse sacrifices for a pastor. As the pastor, I think it’s good for us to consider how we might sacrifice for our spouses. I think we’ll have better marriages because of it.
Some questions to consider:
How can you get involved in your spouse’s hobby or job?
In what way can you be your spouse’s cheerleader?
Do you know the details about your spouse’s life?
Does your calendar have special days for your spouse’s passion or job?
How can you show your spouse you care about their world?