One of my pet-peeves with ministry folks is when they schedule conferences and/or events over Valentine’s Day. I know a lot of people don’t think it’s that big of a deal…and, to me, that’s the problem. It is a big deal! It’s a big deal to the “ousted” spouse who feels like ministry “won” again over family.
I’ve heard all the excuses that Christians make for why Valentine’s Day is no big deal:
- “It’s a Hallmark conspiracy”
- “It’s a secular promoted day”
- “I’d rather spend my money on something other than chocolate & flowers”
- “It’s a waste of money”
I’m not advocating a once a year spending spree, but I am a big fan of couples taking time to pause to value one another. And, if you do that every day with intentionality…it most likely is no big deal. But, since it probably doesn’t happen enough for the majority of marriages, why not have a day (or more) that initiates that type of focus? Marriages are in trouble and unfortunately faith-based marriages aren’t doing much better than non-faith marriages. Something is broken and needs to be fixed. We don’t need more excuses about why it’s a silly day, we need action.
Last week I did a podcast with three ministry wives (including my wife Cathy) and all three said, “Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a big deal, it just has to be something.” Amanda said, “We can’t afford to do anything special right now, and I don’t care. I just want Jeff to make me a card that shows he is thinking about me.” Megan said, “My husband asked me if he wanted me to take the day off on Valentine’s Day and it meant the world to me. That’s what I want, I just want to know he’s into me.” It was loud and clear: “just do something.”
Just do something!
If you read this and feel defensive and/or guilty…well, you’re probably someone who needs to be doing something. And for those of you who are–way to go!