On the ministry front, this was a tough week.

Not sure if we’re going to be able to launch the campuses with as much resources as I’d like.

I’m amazed at how some guys in ministry, guys who are very personable and likable, make a deliberate effort to separate their personal life and ministry life… not unethically, but relationally. Experiencing that is like visiting a foreign country. However, I’m the stranger, I’m what’s different than the norm. I never wanted to be the indie rock kid, but now I am.

Two people on my team felt like I had a hard heart toward another leader in our church. I responded by apologizing to that other leader…although the two who said something told me “you don’t need to say something to him.” that was crazy! I didn’t have a hard heart, but apologized for my poor communication—it was too unfettered. There’s no real relationship without risk, and there’s no integrity without truth.

One person on the regional team said I was a “good friend.” While I’d like to be a friend (real friendship, not just smiles and safe conversations) with the people I work with, I’m not yet friends with the person who said this…so I wonder, does he know so little of friendship (which makes me sad) or is he offering flattery (which makes me mad).

I may only be suited to youth ministry (their fakeness ability is so undeveloped, I hardly and fooled by it), and to leading smaller teams.