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15 Feb 2017

7 things not to do during seasons of change

By |2017-02-15T07:17:39-08:00February 15th, 2017|Leadership|1 Comment

After 15 years in our congregation, my senior pastor is leaving to take a new call.

Since my senior pastor announced his departure, I’ve become acutely aware of the role that I, as a staff member, have to play in this transition. Just as there are many things that I can do to support my congregation during this season of change, I’m also quickly learning there are some things that should be avoided. Here are seven things you shouldn’t do during seasons of change: 

  1. Don’t share what’s not yours to say. During times of transition, questions surface. As a staff member, you’re sometimes privy to information that others don’t have. Don’t repeat something unless you know for sure it’s okay to do so. Respect and honor things that are explicitly or implicitly told to you in confidence. Let your leadership and staff know you can be trusted to maintain confidentiality.
  2. Don’t share too much. As anyone who works for the church knows, the church’s rumor mills are robust. Once you say something, others will hear it. It’s then impossible to take it back. When a colleague leaves, you will feel a variety of emotions: Heartbreak, disappointment, relief, grief, sadness, bitterness, and resentment just to name a few. Sometimes you may even feel them all at once. It’s important for you to find someone outside your congregation to process these emotions with so that you can safely help those in your congregation process theirs, without inserting your own into the mix.
  3. Don’t talk trash about the person leaving. Just because they’re on their way out doesn’t mean it’s time to let loose with every gripe or criticism you’ve ever had with them. Instead of tearing the departing person down, commit to making your last few weeks together affirming. Celebrate that person’s ministry – past, present, and future.
  4. Don’t make the person who’s leaving a scapegoat. If you’re tempted to start a sentence with “Now that so & so’s gone, we can…” just stop. The person who’s leaving is NOT responsible for all that ails your congregation. Your church’s problems will not magically disappear with that person and you’ll do your congregation a disservice by suggesting they will.
  5. Don’t rush the process. If you’re on staff at a church, there’s a good chance you’ll know about impending transitions before others in your congregation. While this can be good and helpful, it can also make it tempting to try to rush into what’s next before you’ve given people adequate time to lament and grieve.
  6. Don’t change too much too quickly. When a staff member leaves, it can be tempting to make immediate changes. Don’t. Your congregation will want (and need) stability. Changing too much too quickly can cause people to feel as though they can no longer depend on your congregation to be an anchor in the storm.
  7. Don’t speculate. Figure out who reliable streams of information come from. Then get in them so that you can share accurate information and timelines. Admit what you don’t know rather than making stuff up.

By staying clear of these 7 don’t’s, you can support your congregation as well as whoever is leaving during seasons of change.

 

9 Feb 2017

7 ways to support your church during seasons of change

By |2017-02-09T09:38:07-08:00February 9th, 2017|Leadership, Youth Pastor Life|1 Comment

After 15 years in our congregation, my senior pastor is leaving to take a new call.

As far as transitions go, this is a healthy one. No underlying conflict is forcing anyone to go. And yet, transitions are always hard. I’m grieving and so are many others in my congregation.

In the week since my senior pastor announced his departure, I’ve become acutely aware of the role that I, as a staff member, have to play in this transition. To support my congregation during this season of change, here are 7 things I’m learning to do:

  1. Process my own emotions. In order to help other people process their emotions, you have to process your own. Sometimes that means prioritizing yourself in order to take care of yourself and then later, others. For example, upon learning of my pastor’s departure, I immediately fled the building. I felt as though the church walls were suffocating me. I knew I had to leave even if it was only for a short time. So I went for a cold, midday walk and then went home for an hour and hung out with my daughter. When I returned to church, I felt much calmer and able to work. In the days since, I’ve continued processing my emotions with my colleagues, my husband, and close friends OUTSIDE my congregation.
  2. Be present and listen. Whenever parishioners learn a beloved, long-time staff member is leaving, they’ll want to talk. In the days since my pastor’s news broke, I’ve sat with a lot of people, simply listening to them. Many times, we’ve sat and cried together. Other times, I’ve listened to people’s grief and their concerns over our congregation’s future. I’ve also asked questions in order to try to better understand where people are coming from.
  3. Give people a safe place to share. While it’s good to meet informally with people and listen, it’s also imperative to give various groups in your congregation time to process big news together and wrestle with the question, “What does this mean for us?” Our youth group has gathered twice since our pastor’s news broke. Both times, we’ve explicitly talked about the elephant in the room. In order to pastor teens, we have to know where they’re at. We can’t do that unless we give them a space to actually share what they’re thinking and feeling.
  4. Give people permission to feel whatever it is they’re feeling. Recognize that not everyone in your congregation will feel the same about a person’s departure. Both times we’ve talked about my pastor’s departure with my students, I’ve explicitly said, “It’s okay to feel whatever it is you’re feeling.” Some of my teens are mourning the loss of the only pastor they’ve ever known. Some have close ties to this pastor: He baptized and confirmed them or buried their loved ones. Others are much more focused on the future and excited for what lies ahead. It’s important to validate both responses, as well as any in between.
  5. Reassure people. In times of transition, there is a lot of uncertainty. One of the most helpful things you can do for people is to reassure them. In my context, my congregation is part of a larger denomination. This means that we have an incredible support network behind us as we go through this season of change. I’ve often referred to its support as a way of reassuring people, of letting them know that we are not alone in this transitional time. I’ve also been using the following line a lot to reassure people, “There’s a lot we don’t know. But what we do know is our church is going to be okay. It’s not going anywhere.”
  6. Support the person leaving. Recognize that transitions are hard – not just for the people left behind, but for the person leaving. Show the departing person grace and compassion. Ask about their plans for the future. Directly ask, “What can I do to support you in this transition process?” Then do those things.
  7. Pray. During times of transition, support your congregation by holding it in prayer. Pray for the person leaving. Pray for wisdom for those making decisions about your congregation’s future. And pray for unity – for your staff, council / board of elders, as well as the congregation itself.

What else can you do to support your congregation during a season of change?

Next week, we’ll explore some things that aren’t helpful to do during seasons of change. 

20 Dec 2016

What’s The Next Step For Your Ministry?

By |2016-12-13T11:39:55-08:00December 20th, 2016|Leadership|0 Comments

When has your ministry finally reached success?  Is it when you hit a certain attendance milestone or you raise a certain amount of money?  Is there a point when your ministry has finally arrived?

Your youth ministry should constantly be growing and not just bigger but deeper too.  But, it’s important to note that growth doesn’t just happen it needs a plan, which starts with the question:   (more…)

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