He was no stranger to mistakes and distractions. When they happened, he sought forgiveness without discouragement. Sometimes we miss out this and settle for a mockery of grace. Consequences follow stupid decisions, there is no doubt. However, we don’t need to create them. Self grudges and holding on to guilt don’t have a place in the spiritual live. I love the way Lawrence let go of the past and strained forward to what is ahead!
Holding on to the pain and clubbing ourselves in the head may make us feel better, filling that false need that says, “I need to suffer for this.” This denies God’s power and his grace. It’s a works mentality: if we suffer enough, we can pay for it on our own. Not only is this not possible, but it is never ending. We keep making mistakes which leads us to keep carrying the load.
There is enough real suffering in this world, none of us need to make up more. And here we have a plan of the Greatest Deceiver: when we are consumed with our make believe suffering, we are blinded to the real suffering around us.
I’m sorry God, and I refuse to be discouraged because your grace is sufficient.