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Why you should meet with teens in public places

My church is just a few blocks away from Panera, which serves as my second office. On occasion, we hold our staff meetings there. I also regularly meet with adult leaders and students there. I do so for many reasons. As a youth worker, I want to be above reproach. This means that when I meet with a teen one-on-one, I ALWAYS do so in a public place. Panera is my default public meeting place.

Over time, I’ve learned it’s far more comfortable for teens to meet with me at Panera than in my office with the door open (which I’m told feels like being summoned to the principal’s office) or in our lobby where it’s hard to go deep into a conversation. In contrast, while public, the booths at Panera offer some semblance of privacy – enough to make teens feel much more comfortable having hard conversations.

Meeting regularly at a place like Panera also gives me the chance to cultivate relationships with people outside my congregation. I mean, I’m in Panera a LOT; So often, in fact, that the staff there knows my name as well as that of my infant daughter, Hope. At the register, I’m often greeted with, “How’s Hope today?” or if she’s not present, “Where’s Hope today?” Since I’m in there so frequently, sometimes, we enter into conversations that go well beyond those kind of typical pleasantries.

Yesterday afternoon, I met a student I mentor at Panera. We were engrossed in a good conversation about the book we’re reading and discussing together (Shane Claiborne’s The Irresistible Revolution) when all of the sudden, I felt a thump on my shoulder. I looked up to see one of our church council members (essentially, my congregation’s elders) standing there. He asked how I was and, motioning at my student, what we were doing. I briefly explained we were there discussing life and our book together. He grinned and walked away.

As he did, I was reminded of yet another reason why it’s good for me, as the youth pastor at my church, to meet with teens in public places: It makes ministry visible to others in my congregation (I almost always see someone from my congregation at Panera when I’m there). This, in turn, gives people a valuable glimpse of what exactly youth ministry looks like. So often, people – including our elders and board members – wonder what it is we do during the week beyond the youth ministry programs we offer on a regular basis. They think we’re holed up in our office doing who knows what. But when church members actually see us out in the community meeting with teens, they begin to understand what it is we do; It paints a picture of what discipleship with teens looks like.

As a part of our church council, the man I encountered yesterday receives a monthly report from me that includes a ministry recap of the previous month. Every month, my report says, “Mentors teens”. Yet, until yesterday, this guy had no idea what that meant. But in the moment after I explained what we were doing, I could tell the light bulb went on and this man got it.

Likewise, when people see us out in the community doing ministry with teens, they better understand the value of our ministry. When people better understand the value of our ministry, they are far more likely to support and to advocate on it’s behalf. They’re far more likely to actually realize that powerful ministry can and does happen over a cup of coffee and a bagel… And maybe, just maybe, the next time they grab a cup of coffee with a friend, client, or colleague they’ll see it not just as a meeting but as ministry, too.

By | 2017-01-26T11:25:45+00:00 September 23rd, 2015|Uncategorized|0 Comments

About the Author:

Jen serves as the director of youth ministry at Faith Lutheran Church in Glen Ellyn, Illinois. Jen is the author of The Jesus Gap: What Teens Actually Believe about Jesus and the corresponding student devotional, The Real Jesus (The Youth Cartel). She's currently writing her third book, Unleashing the Hidden Potential of Your Student Leaders (Abindgon Press). Her writing has also appeared in YouthWorker Journal, Immerse, and The Christian Century. When not doing ministry, she and her husband Doug can be found hiking, backpacking, and traveling with their toddler, Hope.

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